WELCOME Kathleen Pooler
Kathleen Pooler is an author and a retired Family Nurse Practitioner whose memoir, Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse, published on July 28.2014 and work-in-progress sequel, Hope Matters: A Memoir are about how the power of hope through her faith in God helped her to transform, heal and transcend life’s obstacles and disappointments: domestic abuse, divorce, single parenting, loving and letting go of an alcoholic son, cancer and heart failure to live a life of joy and contentment. She believes that hope matters and that we are all strengthened and enlightened when we share our stories.
She lives with her husband Wayne in eastern New York.
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Writing Through the Pain
A Guest Post from Kathleen Pooler
“Turn your wounds into wisdom.” Oprah Winfrey
In 2009, when I sat down to begin writing my memoir, I remember questions swarming around my mind like, What will people think of me when they know my secrets? What will my family think when they read about the sordid details of my two failed marriages. What will my friends think when they discover the real me?
I felt raw and vulnerable and many times questioned myself–Why do I want to expose my flaws and missteps to the world?
Fears of writing my truth raged on throughout the five years I wrote, but my fervent desire to spread hope and awareness about abuse continued to prevail. I knew deep inside that my story needed to be told. Abuse carries a stigma that induces silence, and often times those who have the suffered abuse exert all their energy to cover up the fact they have allowed themselves to be in an abusive situation. The shame can be crushing.
I wanted to crush the shame.
Every time I cringed because of the raw, vulnerable truth I was writing, I told myself that maybe one person will choose to heal because of that passage. Maybe one person will start fighting, or feel deeply understood for the very first time… all because of the depth of pain I revealed. Those brutal moments of reliving the pain of my past created new anguish and uncertainty, yet refreshed my soul as finally…finally, I was breaking the silence. I was owning the error of my ways and giving myself a chance to make healthier choices.
I know that for the majority of people, disclosing their real pain seems impossible. I remember when I held that belief. I thought I had resolved the pain of my poor decisions, moved on to a better life. Well, I had moved on and my life was better, but I still had remnants of my past I had not resolved, such as getting back into a second abusive marriage.
Revisiting the pain of my past seemed insurmountable at times, and yet five years later I wrote it in the pages of a book that would be available for the whole world to read. How did this amazing shift take place? We’ve all heard the saying: “Time heals all wounds.” Well, time is only part of the process. For me, it took a change of perception, an “attitude adjustment” – about who I was and who I was capable of becoming. I accepted the responsibility for my choices and made a conscious decision to take back my power—to embrace my inner strength and move on to live life on my own terms. I claimed and honored my voice.
I faced the past head-on, in my own way, and in my own time. But I did face it.
I began pushing through the guilt and shame, instead of hiding from it.
I kept journaling, praying, writing and sharing and found the purpose for my pain—to share my hard earned lessons with others.
I began writing with intention until one day, I had a book with a message to share with the world- It is possible to climb out of the abyss of poor decisions and go on to live a life of peace and joy.
Writing and publishing my memoir, Ever Faithful to His Lead; My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse, has been the catalyst of amazing and wonderful changes in my life. One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in the process is that we are limited only by our own thinking. Healing is always possible. We only need to look within ourselves to find the answers—to claim and honor our own inner strength.
Writing through my pain helped me to get on the other side of it. It helped me to find the purpose for my pain and turn it into lessons to share with others.
Ever Faithful To His Lead : My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse
Ever Faithful To His Lead : My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse is a memoir, a true life tears to triumph story of self-defeating detours and dreams lost and found.
A young woman who loses sight of the faith she has been brought up with attempts to find her way in the world, rejecting her stable roots in lieu of finding adventure and romance. Despite periods of spiritual renewal in which she receives a prophecy, she slides back, taking several self-defeating detours that take her through a series of heartbreaking events.
When Kathy’s second husband, Dan’s verbal abuse escalates, Kathy finally realizes she must move on before she and her children become a statistic.
How does a young woman who came from a stable, loving family make so many wise choices when it came to career, but so many wrong choices when it came to love, so that she ended up sacrificing career and having to flee in broad daylight with her children from an abusive marriage? What is getting in her way and why does she keep taking so many self-defeating detours?
The story opens up the day Kathy feels physically threatened for the first time in her three-year marriage to her second husband. This sends her on a journey to make sense of her life and discern what part she has played in the vulnerable circumstance she finds herself in.
She must make a decision–face her self-defeating patterns that have led to this situation and move on or repeat her mistakes. Her life and the lives of her two children are dependent upon the choices she makes and the chances she takes from this point forward.
Number of Pages: 242
Publisher: Open Books Press
Publication Date: July 22, 2014