We have a special guest today as he is on a very busy tour.  Please help me welcome, award winning author, Mr. Joshua Graham!!

JOSHUA GRAHAM

Winner of the 2011 INTERNATIONAL BOOK AWARDS, and Amazon.com #1 bestselling author Joshua Graham’s Barnes & Noble #1 bestselling novel BEYOND JUSTICE is taking the world by storm, one reader at a time. Many of his readers blame him for sleepless nights, arriving to work late, neglected dishes and family members, and not allowing them to put the book down.

BEYOND JUSTICE, THE ACCIDENTAL EXORCIST, THE ACCIDENTAL HERO, THE ACCIDENTAL HEALER, and DEATH AND TAXES, have reached the top of multiple bestseller list on Barnes & Noble topping titles by John Grisham, Linda Fairstein, Scott Turrow and James Lee Burke, Ted Dekker and Steven James. Soaring to the top of the Barnes & Noble lists, BEYOND JUSTICE recently hit #1 in the Legal Thriller and Christian Thriller categories, topping by John Grisham, Joel C. Rosenberg, and Michael Connelly. It has also remained on the Amazon.com top 100 bestselling Kindle bestseller list months after its release.

Suspense Magazine listed BEYOND JUSTICE in its BEST OF 2010, alongside titles by Scott Turrow, Ted Dekker, Steven James and Brad Thor.

His short story THE DOOR’S OPEN won the HarperCollins Authonomy Competition (Christmas 2010.)

Publishers Weekly described BEYOND JUSTICE as:
“…A riveting legal thriller…. breaking new ground with a vengeance… demonically entertaining and surprisingly inspiring.”

ABOUT THE BOOK

A thrilling suspense novel about a man’s dark past, his daughter’s mysterious visions, and a psychopath who wants to kill them both.
After scattering her mother’s ashes in Vietnam, photojournalist Xandra Carrick moves home to New York to rebuild her life and career. When she experiences supernatural visions that reveal atrocities perpetrated by American soldiers during the Vietnam War, she finds herself entangled in a forty-year-old conspiracy that could bring the nation into political turmoil.

Launching headlong into a quest to learn the truth from her father, a Pulitzer Prize winner who served as an embedded photographer during the war, Xandra confronts him about a dark secret he has kept—one that has devastated their family.

Pursued across the continent, Xandra comes face-to-face with powerful forces that will stop at nothing to prevent her from revealing the truth. But not before government agencies arrest her for murder, domestic terrorism, and an assassination attempt on the newly elected president of the United States.

Darkroom is a riveting tale of suspense that tears the covers off the human struggle for truth in a world imprisoned by lies.
Read my review here.
Purchase links:  Amazon~Barnes&Noble

I have hosted many gifted and talented authors via WOW and today you will meet another one of their amazing female writers.  I have the honor to introduce you to Ms. Steena Holmes!!

ABOUT STEENA HOLMES

Author of the new heart wrenching story “Finding Emma”, Steena is a woman who believes that ‘in the end, everything succumbs…to the passions of your heart’. Steena’s life revolves around her family, friends and fiction.

Prizes:
First Prize: Work with a Bestselling Author.
Our Grande Prize winner will help create a character for Steena Holmes’ next book!
Second and Third Prize Winners will each receive a signed copy of Finding Emma and a special pewter angel figurine from The Missing Children’s Society of Canada, an organization dedicated to bringing children home.

GUEST POST

Passion. One simple word that means so much.

If you look around, you’ll see passion ever where. It’s in the eyes of a new mom as she gazes down at her newborn. In the face of an elderly man as he holds the woman he’s loved for a lifetime in his arms one last time. It’s the steadiness found in a doctor who prepares themselves to save the life of their patient. It’s there in a child’s determined grip on a pencil as they learn how to write their name for the first time.

Passion is that spark in your heart that gets you through the day when you feel like the world is against you. It’s what help you finish the marathon even when you don’t think you can walk another step. It’s what motivates you to do more — to be more.

It’s hard to watch the passion in someone’s life dwindle and die. You see that sparkle in their eye disappear and it haunts you, knowing that there’s nothing you can do. But it’s an individual choice to allow that passion to thrive – because passion – in any form – requires strength. And let’s be honest, we don’t always have the strength. Sometimes it’s hard to get up every morning and keep doing what you’ve always been doing. It’s hard to always be fighting for what you believe, to always be going against the crowd. To always be wrong when everyone else believes they are right.

But, it’s worth it – isn’t it? It has to be. Passion is what builds nations, or sees communities thrive. It’s what carries on the flame during the Olympics or feeds the hungry in countries without enough resources. It’s what lights up the night sky with fireworks every year to celebrate huge monumental changes in our world and what leaves a lump in your throat when you try not to cry after seeing someone stop during a race to help a fellow competitor who fell. Passion is the key to living a life with purpose and strength and determination.

Passion. One little word that holds the key to so much! Do you have that passion in your life?

ABOUT THE BOOK

 A child torn from the arms of loving parents, a relationship torn apart from loss… Megan sees her daughter Emma everywhere. She’s the little girl standing in the supermarket, the child waiting for the swings at the playground, the girl with ice cream dripping down her face. But it’s never Emma. Because Emma’s been missing for two years. Unable to handle the constant heartache of all the false sightings, Megan’s husband threatens to walk away unless Megan can agree to accept Emma is gone. Megan’s life and marriage is crumbling all around her and she realizes she may have to do the thing she dreads most: move on. When Megan takes a photo of a little girl with an elderly couple at the town fair, she believes it to be her missing daughter. Unable to let go, she sets in motion a sequence of events that could destroy both families lives.

50% of the proceeds of this book will be donated to The Missing Children’s Society of Canada – an organization dedicated to reuniting families. Visit www.mcsc.ca for more information.

THANKS TO AUTHOR, STEENA HOLMES, I HAVE
ONE (1) EBOOK EDITION TO GIVE AWAY.

CLICK HERE TO BRING YOU TO
THE GIVEAWAY ENTRY PAGE.

I’m so excited today because we have an old friend stopping by to talk about her latest book.  I am sure a lot of you have read her past works and will want to know what she has been up to.  So without further ado, please welcome back, Kari Lee Townsend!

KARI LEE TOWNSEND

National Bestselling Author, RT Reader’s Choice Award & Agatha Nominee Kari Lee Townsend lives in Central New York with her very understanding husband, her three busy boys, and her oh-so-dramatic daughter, who keep her grounded and make everything she does worthwhile…not to mention provide her with loads of material for her books. Kari is a longtime lover of reading and writing, with a masters in English education, who spends her days trying to figure out whodunit. Funny how no one at home will confess any more than the characters in her mysteries!

Kari writes fun and exciting stories for any age, set in small towns, with mystical elements and quirky characters as Kari Lee Townsend. Kari also writes romantic comedies and women’s fiction with the same sense of humor and quirky characters as Kari Lee Harmon.

GUEST POST

Fortune-Telling Research & Future Ideas

 When I first decided to write a mystery series, I chose fortune-telling as a theme because I thought it would be fascinating to learn all about the various techniques. What I didn’t realize is there are many slightly different techniques that psychics use when telling someone’s fortune. The Internet has been an invaluable tool. For the sake of my Fortune Teller Mysteries, I combined several aspects of various techniques and came up with a method my character, Sunshine Meadow’s, would use.

In book one, Tempest in the Tea Leaves, Sunny reads tea leaves as a way tapping into her psychic abilities. She sometimes has trouble interpreting her visions, but in the end, they always work themselves out. The fortune-telling tools simply aid her in tapping into her visions. In book two, Corpse in the Crystal Ball, Sunny reads Crystal Balls. For both tea leaves and crystal balls, there are variations in the process, but in the end, they are not all that different. So it was easy to come up with a method that worked for Sunny. And then she simply had to interpret what she saw.

In book three, Trouble in the Tarot, I found reading Tarot Cards to be the most difficult. There are so many spreads you can use and so many ways of interpreting what you see, that it’s not easy. I spent the most time on my research for reading Tarot Cards. In the end, I ended up coming up with the same preparation for reading the cards and then I used several spreads depending on what kind of reading Sunny was doing. For book four, Peril in the Palm, I will do research on Palm Reading. I am excited about that. This series is holding my interest because I never get bored. I get to find out something new and share it with the world. Hopefully, Palm Reading won’t be that difficult J What kind of fortune-telling tools would you like to learn more about in future books?

To find out more about Kari and all her books go to www.karileetownsend.com  or click on the links below:

Kari Lee Townsend (Website & Newsletter & Facebook & Twitter)
National Bestselling Author of The Fortune Teller Mysteries
TEMPEST IN THE TEA LEAVES 4 1/2 Starred RT Review
Best Amateur Sleuth of 2011 RT Reviewers’ Choice Nominee
Best First Novel Agatha Award Nominee
CORPSE IN THE CRYSTAL BALL – June 2012 (preorder now)
DIGITAL DIVA: TALK TO THE HAND (Kindle & Nook)
DIGITAL DIVA: RISE OF THE PHENOTEENS (Kindle & Nook)
DESTINY WEARS SPURS (by Kari Lee Harmon) (Kindle & Nook)
PROJECT PRODUCE (by Kari Lee Harmon) (Kindle & Nook)

ABOUT THE BOOK

Psychic Sunshine Meadows makes a dark discovery in the woods…

After clearing her name as the prime suspect in a murder, Sunny Meadows hopes she can finally enjoy some serenity in the idyllic town of Divinity in upstate New York. She’d also like a second chance with Detective Mitch Stone. But when Mitch’s gorgeous ex-girlfriend Isabel Gonzales shows up, Sunny’s not sure she can compete. Then Isabel mysteriously disappears. When the police turn to Sunny for help, her visions lead to the discovery of Isabel’s corpse in the woods. Before she died, Isabel scrawled a message in the dirt implicating Mitch in her murder. Now Sunny must help the man she’s falling in love with as she sets out to find the real killer. But this time Sunny’s clairvoyant abilities might not save her—as what she doesn’t see can hurt her…

THANKS TO AUTHOR, KARI LEE TOWNSEND, I HAVE
ONE (1) BOOK AND A SIGNED BOOKMARK TO GIVE AWAY.
U.S. RESIDENTS ONLY.

CLICK HERE TO BRING YOU TO
THE GIVEAWAY ENTRY PAGE.

DISCLAIMER
No items that I receive
are ever sold…they are kept by me,
or given to family and/or friends.
ADDENDUM
I do not have any affiliation with Amazon.com,
Barnes & Noble and/or any other retail/wholesale
outlets either online and/or elsewhere.
I am providing this link solely for visitors
that may be interested in purchasing this Book/EBook.
I do not receive any monetary compensation from any parties

What a day!!  Are you sitting down?  If not, you should, because I have a  very special, talented and amazing author visiting today as she kicks off her summer tour.  Plus some very nice giveaways.   Please help me in welcoming Ms. Elin Hilderbrand to the CMash blog!!!

ELIN HILDERBRAND

Elin Hilderbrand lives on Nantucket with her husband and their three young children. She grew up in Collegeville, Pennsylvania, and traveled extensively before settling on Nantucket, which has been the setting for her five previous novels. Hilderbrand is a graduate of Johns Hopkins University and the graduate fiction workshop at the University of Iowa.
Visit Ms. Hilderbrand on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.

ABOUT THE BOOK

A warm June evening, a local tradition: the students of Nantucket High have gathered for a bonfire on the beach. But what begins as a graduation night celebration ends in tragedy after a horrible car crash leaves the driver of the car, Penny Alistair, dead, and her twin brother in a coma. The other passengers, Penny’s boyfriend Jake and her friend Demeter, are physically unhurt – but the emotional damage is overwhelming, and questions linger about what happened before Penny took the wheel.

As summer unfolds, startling truths are revealed about the survivors and their parents – secrets kept, promises broken, hearts betrayed. Elin Hilderbrand explores the power of community, family, and honesty, and proves that even from the ashes of sorrow, new love can still take flight.
Read my review here.

Read an excerpt:

THANKS TO ANNA AND THE GENEROUS PEOPLE
AT THE HACHETTE BOOK GROUP, I AM HOSTING
A HUMONGOUS AND FANTASTIC GIVEAWAY!!!!

CLICK HERE TO BRING YOU TO THE GIVEAWAY
ENTRY PAGE TO SEE WHAT YOU CAN WIN!!!!

I have seen this book all over cyberland, as I am sure you have too.  That’s why today you are in for a treat.  The author is stopping by to tell us about her book.  I ask that you please help me in welcoming Ms. Laurie Frankel to our group.

LAURIE FRANKEL

Laurie Frankel lives in Seattle with her husband, her three-year-old son, her border collie, and many, many books. She’s an East coaster originally, a fact people often guess before she’s even opened her mouth. Her second novel, Goodbye For Now, comes out August 2012 in the U.S. The film has been optioned and translation rights have sold in 25 countries. Laurie was just named one of ten women to watch in 2012. She is a proud core member of the Seattle7Writers. Her first novel, The Atlas of Love, came out in August 2010, so August seems to be her month. Until last June, she was teaching writing, literature, and gender studies at the college level. Now she is thrilled, honored, grateful, and occasionally terrified to be writing full-time. It’s quite something.
Connect with Ms. Frankel at her website, Facebook and Twitter.

GUEST POST

I’m never sure whether people will be more interested to hear about the book or its author. As the author, I’m pretty qualified to talk about both, but neither one is as easy as it sounds like it should be. It’s hard to talk about yourself, first off because it’s unseemly to appear so self-satisfied and boastful but also because it’s hard to know where to start: I know a lot about myself. But it’s tough to talk about the book too. I know a lot about that as well having thought about little else for quite a while here. And I was an English teacher for a long time — I’m better at asking questions about books than I am at giving out answers. So here’s a little bit of both — me and the book and how it came to be.

I am a novelist, in Seattle now with my husband and my three-year-old and my border collie, but I’m an East Coaster in the first place. I taught college for a dozen-ish years — writing (fiction, playwriting, rhetoric), literature, and gender studies. I wrote my first novel, THE ATLAS OF LOVE, while teaching full-time. It took a while. I wrote my second novel, GOODBYE FOR NOW, much more quickly because I’d left my day job. Being a full-time writer is wonderful. And terrifying.

GOODBYE FOR NOW is the story of Sam Elling, a software engineer who invents a way for people to email — and later video chat — with their dead loved ones. He creates an algorithm that can make a projection of a person based on their electronic archive: all their old emails and Facebook posts and tweets and video chats. It’s also a love story. I wrote it because it seems so logical to me that this technology should exist. So much of our lives are lived online, so many of our relationships exist primarily on Facebook and other social media sites. I started to ask myself: if the person went away but the online presence stayed, what exactly would the difference be?

My grandmother and I were very close. And we emailed each other a lot. After she died, I just wanted more emails from her. And I thought they could be so convincingly and easily faked, I was amazed that no one had invented that service yet, but since no one else had, I did, and since I’m a writer and not a software engineer, I did it in novel form.

One of the best things about the book is it’s about blogs and social media, connecting online and virtual technologies, so I’m looking especially forward to connecting with readers through those mediums. Welcome — it’s great to meet you, however electronically.

ABOUT THE BOOK

In the spirit of ONE DAY, comes a fresh and warmhearted love story for the 21st century. Sometimes the end is just the beginning . . .

Sam Elling works for an internet dating company, but he still can’t get a date. So he creates an algorithm that will match you with your soul mate. Sam meets the love of his life, a coworker named Meredith, but he also gets fired when the company starts losing all their customers to Mr. and Ms. Right.

When Meredith’s grandmother, Livvie, dies suddenly, Sam uses his ample free time to create a computer program that will allow Meredith to have one last conversation with her grandmother. Mining from all her correspondence—email, Facebook, Skype, texts—Sam constructs a computer simulation of Livvie who can respond to email or video chat just as if she were still alive. It’s not supernatural, it’s computer science.

Meredith loves it, and the couple begins to wonder if this is something that could help more people through their grief. And thus, the company RePose is born. The business takes off, but for every person who just wants to say good-bye, there is someone who can’t let go.

In the meantime, Sam and Meredith’s affection for one another deepens into the kind of love that once tasted, you can’t live without. But what if one of them suddenly had to? This entertaining novel, delivers a charming and bittersweet romance as well as a lump in the throat exploration of the nature of love, loss, and life (both real and computer simulated). Maybe nothing was meant to last forever, but then again, sometimes love takes on a life of its own.

THANKS TO ANDREW and DOUBLEDAY BOOKS, I HAVE
THREE (3) COPIES OF THIS BOOK TO GIVE AWAY.

CLICK HERE TO BRING YOU TO THE GIVEAWAY
ENTRY PAGE. U.S. RESIDENTS ONLY.

DISCLAIMER
No items that I receive
are ever sold…they are kept by me,
or given to family and/or friends.

We are all affected by it.  It’s on the news every night, we read about it in the paper and we all have had conversations about it.  What am I talking about?  The economy!!  That’s why when Tracy from Media Muscle (The Book Trib) contacted me regarding today’s guest, I jumped at the opportunity to host him as a guest and hear about his book.  So please help me welcome Mr. Alan Uke.

ALAN UKE

BUSINESS AND CIVIC COMMUNITY LEADER
Thirty-four years ago, Alan Uke started a company out of his University of California – San Diego dorm room. His dorm room dream grew into a successful scuba diving equipment company. It employs over 100 people in San Diego County, exports products to over 60 countries, and infuses millions of dollars into the local economy annually. Underwater Kinetics not only provides excellent products and customer service, but had provided hundreds of jobs and revenues for the San Diego area for over 40 years. In recognition of his outstanding business skills, Alan Uke was named Entrepreneur of the Year by the Entrepreneur of the Year Institute and the San Diego County Board of Supervisors.

As a business owner, he quickly learned the importance of balancing budgets, creating jobs, managing people, and cutting waste. Over time, Alan’s innovative business skills have become one of his greatest assets. He was able to use those skills to help bring the U.S.S. Midway to San Diego, turning it into a financially solvent tourist attraction that pumps $20 million a year into our economy.

WORKING FOR A STRONGER AMERICA
As a member of the World Presidents’ Association, Alan served on numerous top-level delegations in Washington and represented the voice of American business to our nation’s leadership. He met with President Bush, Vice-President Cheney, the Congressional leadership and cabinet secretaries in an effort to strengthen the U.S. economy and reduce reliance on foreign countries for vital resources. Alan also served on the Board of Directors of the San Diego Taxpayers Association. During his time on the Board and as President of the Association’s foundation, Alan committed himself to eliminating waste in local governments and lowering taxes. His commitment to protecting our tax dollars stays with him today.

Uke has experience with bringing labeling ideas before. Years ago he had an idea to inspire drivers to choose cars with lower air pollution rates rather than forcing compliance with ride sharing. After dealing with everyone from car manufacturers and the Sierra Club to the EPA, Uke’s Smog Index eventually ended up on all cars sold in the U.S. Today being able to identify cleaner cars is a major selling point in American automobiles.

Uke wants to make significant change possible again – change that will bring an immediate and lasting benefit to all Americans. By BUYING AMERICA BACK we can reclaim our strength as a world leader.

Alan Uke is a San Diego entrepreneur, community leader and founder of Underwater Kinetics, which he started 41 years ago as a sophomore at the University of California San Diego. He holds more than 50 patents and the majority of his SCUBA diving and his industrial lighting products are exported to more than 60 countries. He has won the Entrepreneur of the Year Award for Consumer Products from the Entrepreneur of the Year Institute, is a member of the World Presidents Organization and conceived of and founded the San Diego Aircraft Carrier Museum.

Q&A WITH ALAN UKE

1) What is “Buying America Back” about?
It’s about making educated choices about what you buy and how it affects the American economy. I have a business that works with countries all over the world, and the economies that do well are the ones that try to buy products that are good for their own economy. We don’t do this in the United States.
It’s hard for Americans to do because we don’t have the proper labeling on products. I’m suggesting we put labeling on products — like we label food — to tell us exactly where the products come from and in what percentages. And that will make people conscious of what products they buy and how those purchases can be beneficial to America. There is a solution and it’s in our hands.
2) What does balanced trade mean?
It means we export the same percentage of products to a country as they export to us. Right now the United States imports almost 25 percent more than it exports. This excess results in the creation of overseas jobs at the expense of American jobs.
3) Who is the audience for this book?
This book is for everybody — because it affects everyone in this country. Two-thirds of the economy is driven by consumer spending, and buying American could eventually eliminate our unemployment and our trade deficit. Countries like China do everything in their power not to buy American products. The average American doesn’t know that. What I’m hoping is that those countries that see this kind of response from American consumers will have to respond and change their policies.
4) Why should the average voter be interested in reading this book?
The solution to the American economy is in every consumer’s hands. It’s going to take mass action by the general public to get this working. We, as a culture, have to do different things – like we did with the environment. The environment was being destroyed, until we acquired an awareness by everybody of what was going on and what we needed to do.
5) You were instrumental in getting the Smog Index legislation to be adopted by the American automobile manufacturers – how did your experience with that prepare you for launching this bill?
With the Smog Index, I thought that people should know that certain cars will produce more pollution than others, because only engineers knew that, not the average person. They just didn’t think of it. But now they know, and they can feel good about knowing more, making a choice, and making a difference. The labeling bill will be similar. How and where I spend my money affects me, it affects my economy, affects employment, and affects the environment around me.
6) Tell me about the Country of Origin Labeling Act.
Congressman Brian Bilbray (R-Calif.) will introduce the legislation. There are already country-of-origin labels now, but we’re trying to improve the rules. We want the labels to be more detailed and to list the percentages of each product that are made in a certain country.

ABOUT THE BOOK

San Diego entrepreneur Uke presents a straightforward thesis in this engaging policy proposal: consumer thirst for cheap imports has strangled U.S. manufacturing employment and stifled our economy. The manufacturing sector, which lost 5.2 million jobs from 2000 to 2010, accounts for only 10% of the economy compared with its dominant role in 1965. Uke explodes the myth of a shift to high-tech output and notes that Germany and other countries with higher labor costs than ours compete successfully with Asia. He argues convincingly that the offshore exodus of production facilities entails the loss of high-paying spinoff jobs, the departure of R&D facilities and other centers of innovation, and the erosion of service-sector jobs. The proper response, Uke plausibly argues, is not across-the-board protectionism or isolationism, but empowering the consumer by toughening disclosure of country-of-origin product data. Accurate disclosure would enable consumers to reward local producers or those with high local-product content. Uke perceptively points out that this approach is increasingly popular with food, and prevalent in many other countries. Determined consumer leadership on this issue, he maintains, could goad Congress into action and prompt corporations to revive domestic production. Uke’s refreshingly invective-free writing and hands-on manufacturing experience compel our consideration; his proposal is simple and his goals are lofty. Attention should be paid. Agent: Bill Gladstone. (Apr.)

BOOK DETAILS
BUYING AMERICA BACK:
A Real-Deal Blueprint for Restoring American Prosperity
By Alan Uke
SelectBooks; April 9, 2012
164 pages; $16.95
ISBN-10: 1590792300
ISBN-13: 978-1590792308

THANKS TO TRACY, FROM MEDIA MUSCLE, I HAVE ONE (1)
COPY OF THIS BOOK TO GIVE AWAY (U.S. RESIDENTS ONLY)

CLICK HERE TO BRING YOU TO
THE GIVEAWAY ENTRY PAGE.

DISCLAIMER
I received a copy of this book, at no charge to me,
in exchange for my honest review.
No items that I receive
are ever sold…they are kept by me,
or given to family and/or friends.

I have to start by repeating myself.  I have met the most wonderful people through blogging and reviewing.  And today I have the honor to introduce you to a very special, amazing, inspirational and kind lady.  I was contacted by Jodi from WOW asking if I would like to read, review and host today’s guest.  I read the synopsis and it was a YES!!  After reviewing her book, I emailed her and shared it with her because it wasn’t going to be posted until today and I finished the book in April.  Since that time we have been in touch through emails, learned more about each other and we “clicked”.  Over these past few months we have formed a friendship whereas it feels that I have known her for years.  In one of our emails, when she found out where I reside, told me that she would be here in the fall for a conference.  We instantly made plans that include picking her up at the airport, out for dinner and have no doubt, a fun night filled with conversation.  I am so excited that I can wait to meet her face to face.   So please, get comfy, grab a coffee and help me welcome, my friend, Dawn Novotny to our group!!!

ABOUT DAWN NOVOTNY

So many words describe Dawn Novotny: clinician, teacher, author, workshop leader, wife, mother, stepmother, grandmother, recovering addict, breast cancer survivor, reader, swing dancer, and snorkeler. But what she is most proud of is her ability to “thrive”. She thrived in the face of poverty, abuse, and addiction to finally become the woman she is today. She wrote her memoir to encourage other woman to look past their difficulties to what is possible, to the woman they should be.
You can visit Dawn at her website here and her Professional Clinical Workshop here (a visit every woman should take the time for).

GUEST POST

                                    Forgiveness is Vital to a Healthy Life

When I first heard people talk about amends to those we had harmed, especially our ex-spouses, I thought they must be crazy. I believed that if my tormentors’ transgressions outweighed mine, my “sin” was somehow diminished, even canceled.

I thought if people knew how cruel my ex-husband had been toward me and our children, they would see how righteous I had been. That should exempt me from making amends to him, right? But I was learning that if I wanted healing from my past, then it was I who had to take responsibility for my own sins of omission and commission without defenses or excuses.

Grudgingly at first, I began to think about who I was and what I was like when I married my children’s father. What exactly did I—a frightened, needy, nearly delirious young girl—bring to the marriage? The answer was nothing. Absolutely nothing! I realized, while he was marrying me for his own reasons, I had married him to escape my love and rage at my first husband. I used what many would consider a sacred act—the sacrament of marriage—to arrest my descent into booze and promiscuity.

Thinking I was escaping the pain, I brought my nineteen-year-old self—an empty satchel stuffed with pain—to my second marriage. I appropriated him to escape my internal barbarians and shameful acting out behaviors.

Once I realize this, and with great trepidation, I wrote a letter of apology to himwhere I revealed my shameful secrets. I told him how my choices culminated in a brutal rape and suicide attempt just months prior to our marriage, and apologized for having nothing to contribute to our years together except fear and emptiness. I asked his forgiveness. I had to let go of any concern about how he would respond. The release that came to me after mailing that letter was like a huge stone of bitterness melting away. How he responded was irrelevant to my healing.

When he died four years ago, I was able to facilitate our children’s grief and farewells. By their own choice they had not spoken to their father in several years, but I felt that grieving his passing was paramount to their healing journey. We lit candles and wished him well on his crossing. They whispered their regrets. I felt blessed to have been given such softness in my heart toward him.

It takes enormous energy to address, think about and re-feel old transgressions. The remembering without release depletes our vital life energies robbing us of a healthy life.

Not only was I gifted with the peace that passes all understanding, my children no longer had to carry the heavy stone of family wounds heaped upon them by their parents.

The act of sincere forgiveness frees the soul in unimaginable ways. We are the benefactor of our acts of forgiveness, regardless of the recipient’s reactions.

Should you choose to follow this path toward healing a wound that holds your heart tethered to pain, please seek the advice of clergy or a trusted friend. There may be transgressors and transgressions that remain volatile and in need of counsel to proceed.

ABOUT THE BOOK

For 50 years, whether consciously or unconsciously, women have all been caught in the cultural clash between the almost immortal sexual mystique symbolized by Marilyn Monroe (in 1999 she was still voted “sexiest woman of the century” byPeople Magazine) and the retooling of the female soul by the women’s liberation movement.  Each of us has been left to ask ourselves, “Who am I?”  “Where do I fit?”  “What does it mean to be a woman?” And most important of all: “What does it mean to me to be a woman?”

THANKS TO THE KINDNESS OF AUTHOR,
DAWN NOVOTNY, I HAVE TWO (2) COPIES
OF THIS EXCEPTIONAL MEMOIR TO GIVE AWAY.

CLICK HERE TO BRING YOU TO
THE GIVEAWAY ENTRY PAGE.

DISCLAIMER
I received a copy of this book, at no charge to me,
in exchange for my honest review.
No items that I receive
are ever sold…they are kept by me,
or given to family and/or friends.

The statistics of marriages and divorce in today’s world are staggering.  The days of  The Cleavers ( a family sitcom in 1957-1963) are gone.  So when Rebecca from The Cadence Groupcontacted me about today’s guests, I thought it would be an interesting visit.  Please help me welcome Dr. Tony Feretti and Dr. Peter Weiss to our group.

                       DR. TONY FERRETTI       and           DR. PETER WEISS

Dr. Peter Weiss is physician and healthcare executive with a passion for helping others to health and wellness. A graduate of Washington University in St. Louis, Dr. Weiss currently serves as an executive for the Adventist Health System in Orlando, Florida.

His coauthor, Dr. Tony Ferretti is a licensed psychologist who has helped clients recognize the addictive nature of power, control, and “success” for over twenty years.  A Ph.D. graduate of the University of Southern Mississippi, he’s appeared on Dr. Phil and hosted his own popular radio show, “Talk to Tony.”

GUEST POST

Change Your Life Not Your Wife

 Peter J. Weiss, MD

Tiger Woods, Elliot Spitzer, Mark Sanford, John Edwards, Jack Welch, Arnold Schwarzenegger…  The list goes on and on.  Who will be next?  It’s only a matter of time until the newspapers headline another major public figure who destroys his marriage, family and perhaps his career through self-destructive behaviors.  The world wonders, “What happened?  How could he throw it all away?  What was he thinking?”

Some of us know what he was thinking.  He thought that that the purpose of life is accomplishment or conquest.  Perhaps his greatest drive was achieving more at work, making more money, or having more stuff.  Hey, I’ve been there, and I see it all around me in medicine and business.  Thinking that way can get you far in life, but it’s not a healthy way to live.  Often it destroys marriages and families.

Occasionally a marital crisis may cause one of these high flyers to wake up to life’s bigger questions.  “What’s life all about anyway?  Why am I living like this?  Why do I feel so much pressure?  How do I want to live?  How can I enjoy life more?”  But some never wake up.  They just dig in and work harder.  Achieve more.  Earn more.  Buy more.  Perhaps even get the “trophy wife.”  And then the cycle repeats.  Third or fourth marriages are not uncommon for these folks.

Unfortunately many of the same personality traits that propel us to material success can spell trouble for our relationships. Emotional immaturity, intense ambition, perfectionism, and “control freak” behaviors are common among high-achieving physicians, attorneys, businesspeople, politicians and entrepreneurs, in all communities and of both genders.  We all know these individuals, and we are often witnesses to their crumbling relationships.  I’m sure you can bring some names to mind.

The good news is that people can change.  It takes work but it can be done.  Relationships can be repaired.  Marriages do heal.  When couples are willing to work through their issues dramatic improvement and healing are possible.  That’s why I coauthored Change Your Life, Not Your Wife with Dr. Tony Ferretti.  People need help.

So if you’re the typical Type A personality climbing the ladder of success, my advice is don’t wait for your crisis.  Don’t be next.  Admit your issues and change for the better.  Conceding that you have a problem is the hardest part, but truth is, others around you already know what you’re like.  Many, especially your spouse, would probably be happy to help.

Give some attention to your spiritual and emotional health.  Seek answers to life’s bigger questions.  Make time for your family and friends.  Take it easy on yourself.  Learn about managing your emotions, especially anger, stress and frustration.  Enjoy life more.  This doesn’t mean that you need to be less effective at work, just less consumed by it.  You may even be more effective at your vocation as a more balanced person.

Change your life, not your wife.  You’ll be glad you did!

ABOUT THE BOOK

Are you winning at work but failing at home?

Save your marriage before it’s too late!

Divorce is everywhere. Especially among high-achieving and success-driven professionals-sometimes even those in long-term marriages. Unfortunately, this divorce pattern often repeats itself resulting in more broken relationships. In Change Your Wife Not Your Life, Drs. Ferretti and Weiss demystify this seeming discord – highly successful individuals failing at home and making life-damaging choices. They offer hope through insight and easy-to-understand exercises to improve these most important relationships.

Drs. Ferretti and Weiss explain how the same character traits that propel us to succeed in our careers can bring our family life crashing down. Using true-to-life examples that we all can recognize, they clearly outline the perils posed by being achievement or power oriented in your intimate relationships.

Eschewing the blame game, the authors stress that usually both partners have had a role in arriving at a marital crossroads. It’s not just one person’s fault. Their good news is that relationships can get better. Marriages do heal. When couples are willing to work through their issues, dramatic improvement and healing are possible.

In this book you will:

· Discover the common personality traits behind the succeed at work/fail at home syndrome,

· Understand how your current behavior in relationships has been shaped by your childhood experiences,

· Assess the priorities in your life and the importance of shifting your focus from possessions to people,

· Find simple assessments, and exercises to help you evaluate your marriage,

· Learn through a step-by-step process how to heal, nurture, and grow your marriage with proven and effective tools,

· See how counseling works to help couples heal relationships, or to heal separately when relationships do fail.

THANKS TO REBECCA FROM THE CADENCE GROUP, I
HAVE ONE (1) COPY OF THIS BOOK TO GIVE AWAY.

CLICK HERE TO BRING YOU TO THE GIVEAWAY
PAGE.   U.S. and CANADA RESIDENTS ONLY.

DISCLAIMER
No items that I receive
are ever sold…they are kept by me,
or given to family and/or friends.