WELCOME R. FRANKLIN JAMES

 

R. FRANKLIN JAMES

R. Franklin James was born and raised in the San Francisco East Bay Area. She graduated from the University of California at Berkeley and completed the masters program in Public Policy at California State University East Bay. She has also received her paralegal certification.

She and her husband live in northern California with their English Springer Spaniel, Bailey.
Connect with Rae at these sites:

ABOUT THE BOOK

The Fallen Angels Book Club has only two requirements: the members must love books and have a white-collar criminal record. Hollis Morgan fits the bill. Left holding the bag in an insurance fraud scheme concocted by her now ex-husband, she served her time and is trying to rebuild her life. All she wants is for the court to pardon her conviction so she can return to law school.

After one of her fellow members is murdered in a scenario straight out of a club selection, Hollis is once again the subject of police scrutiny. Refusing to get stuck with another bad rap, she sets out to investigate her fellow club members. Is one of them really blackmailing the others? As a second member dies in yet another book-inspired murder, Hollis realizes that time is running out. Everything rides on her finding the killer–not just her career aspirations. She must identify the killer before she herself becomes the next victim. Everyone is convinced she knows more than she lets on. But what is it, exactly, that is she supposed to know?

The Fallen Angels Book Club is the first book in an exciting new mystery series featuring amateur sleuth Hollis Morgan.

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BOOK DETAILS:

Genre: Mystery / Amateur Dective
Published by: Camel Press
Publication Date: May 1, 2013
Number of Pages: 264
ISBN: 1603819177 / 978-1603819176

PURCHASE LINKS:

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DISCLAIMER
I received a copy of this book, at no charge to me,
in exchange for my honest review.
No items that I receive
are ever sold…they are kept by me,
or given to family and/or friends.
ADDENDUM
I do not have any affiliation with Amazon.com or
Barnes & Noble. I am an IndieBound affiliate.
I am providing link(s) solely for visitors
that may be interested in purchasing this Book/EBook.

WELCOME STEVE BERRY

STEVE BERRY

Steve Berry is the New York Times and #1 internationally bestselling author of eight Cotton Malone adventures, four stand-alone thrillers, and four short-story originals.   His books have been translated into 40 languages with more than 15 million printed copies in 51 countries.

History lies at the heart of every Steve Berry novel.  It’s his passion, one he shares with his wife, Elizabeth, which led them to create History Matters, a foundation dedicated to historic preservation. Since 2009 Steve and Elizabeth have crossed the country to save endangered historic treasures raising more than $400,000 via lectures, receptions, galas, luncheons, dinners and their popular writers’ workshops. In 2012 Steve’s devotion to historic preservation was recognized by the American Library Association, which named Steve the first spokesman for National Preservation Week (a role he’ll reprise in 2013).  Among other honors coming his way in 2013 are the Barnes & Noble Writers for Writers Award, the Spirit of Anne Frank Human Writes Award and the International Thriller Writers Silver Bullet Award.

Steve was born and raised in Georgia and graduated from the Walter F. George School of Law at Mercer University. He was a trial lawyer for 30 years and held elective office for 14 of those years.  He is a member of the Smithsonian Institution Libraries Advisory Board and a founding member of International Thriller Writers—a group of more than 2,000 thriller writers from around the world—and served three years as its co-president.

Connect with Steve Berry at these sites:

ABOUT THE BOOK

When Cotton Malone’s 15-year-old son, Gary, is kidnapped in London, Malone stumbles into a high-stakes diplomatic showdown—an international incident fueled by geopolitical gamesmanship and shocking Tudor secrets. At its heart is the Libyan terrorist convicted of bombing Pan Am Flight 103, who is set to be released by Scottish authorities for “humanitarian reasons.” An outraged American government objects, but nothing can persuade the British to intervene. Nothing except, perhaps, Operation King’s Deception—a CIA operation that aims to solve a centuries-old mystery that calls into question the legitimacy of the entire 45-year reign of Elizabeth I. With assassins, traitors, spies, and dangerous disciples of a secret society closing in, Malone is caught in a lethal bind. To save Gary he must play one treacherous player against another—and only by uncovering the incredible truth can he hope to prevent the shattering consequences of the King’s Deception.

BOOK DETAILS:

Hardcover: 432 pages
Publisher: Ballantine Books; First Edition edition (June 11, 2013)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780345526540
ISBN-13: 978-0345526540

PURCHASE LINKS:

THANKS TO VERONICA AT MEDIA MUSCLE,
I HAVE ONE (1) SIGNED COPY, WINNER’S CHOICE,
OF HIS PREVIOUS NOVELS, TO GIVE AWAY.

        
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WELCOME ARIC DAVIS

ARIC DAVIS

Born in Ithaca, New York, Aric Davis has lived most his life in Grand Rapids, Michigan. He is the author of A Good and Useful Hurt and the acclaimed YA novel Nickel Plated, called by Gillian Flynn a “dark but humane, chilling and sometimes heart-breaking work of noir” and given a “Top 10” Booklist designation in 2011. A punk-music and tattoo aficionado, Davis worked as a professional body piercer for sixteen years. He and his wife and daughter live in the chilly Midwest, where they can enjoy roller coasters, hockey, and cold weather.
Connect with Aric at his website here.

GUEST POST

Of all the blessings that being a full time author has brought me, there are few that I’ve appreciated more than being able to always choose my own music while writing. I’m sure some of you reading this might think that I’m being ridiculous, that there are far worse things about an honest day’s work than music, and I suppose that I am a little particular about what I choose to listen to. That said, how many of you have worked in a tattoo shop before?

To say that the music one can listen to in a tattoo shop would not be workplace appropriate in nearly any other scenario would be an understatement painted with a very broad brush. I can think of more occasions than I can count on my fingers where I was working on a minor and had a coworker fire up some very offensive rap music. That the tunes in question were both horribly misogynistic and full of swears would be bad enough with just the customers in the building, but listening to such things whilst touching the stomach of a fifteen year old girl can make you feel like you truly are a horrible person.

As bad as the rap could be, far worse was the heavy metal listened to on a daily basis. Don’t get me wrong, I like metal, I just don’t like some of the stuff we were listening to, and I definitely hated the volume that it was played at. Trying to write during downtime at work and listening to a band called Terror at utterly earsplitting volume is not something that I would recommend doing anytime soon, but at least when I would write I always had access to the delete and backspace keys. Piercing someone while such acerbic rock roars from the speakers is a whole other animal entirely, and while our rooms had separate speakers and volume controls, one coworker turned his up so loud that it was typically the only speaker even turned on in the shop.

While writing my new project-as yet unnamed-I’ve been listening to the new albums by Captain We’re Sinking, The World is a Beautiful Place and I am no Longer Afraid to Die, The Wonder Years, and Restorations. These are all bands that I can enjoy through my headphones or on the iPod dock that sits on the desk by our kitchen table, and though my daughter might prefer the new Taylor Swift record to any of the above-mentioned bands, I don’t have to worry-for the most part-about coarse language on these records.

It seems like such a small thing, but of all the joys that have come from my ability to stay home and write, there are few that I appreciate more than not having to listen to bad music at the tattoo shop. There are far worse workplace gripes to have of course, and certainly I’ve been through some of those as well after 17 years of pushing needles, but this one is one of the sweetest. I owe a huge debt to my fans and publisher for allowing me to pick all of the songs on my personal playlist, and for that, I thank you.

Aric Davis’ novel The Fort is available now on Amazon.com. At turns heartbreaking and breathtakingly thrilling, The Fort perfectly renders a coming-of-age story in the 1980s, in those final days of childhood independence, discovery, and paradise lost.

ABOUT THE BOOK

THE FORT tells the story of three young boys enjoying freedom in the tree house fort they’ve built in the woods behind their homes. But a killer- a deranged Vietnam vet- lurks in their midst, and when the boys spot him near the fort with his latest victim, a teen named Molly, they know they must do their part to save her. Doubted by the police and their parents, the boys decide to take action on their own – to find Molly, to protect themselves, and to save the small corner of the world that remains theirs alone. Told from the alternating viewpoints of the boys, the killer, and the detective on his trail, this is an electrifying story of its time and place – the Grand Rapids of the 1980s, when economic uncertainties and the looming shadows of the Vietnam War lingered over many neighborhoods.

BOOK DETAILS:

Paperback: 246 pages
Publisher: Thomas & Mercer (June 11, 2013)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1611099390
ISBN-13: 978-1611099393

PURCHASE LINKS:

THANKS TO JILL AT FINN PARTNERS,
I HAVE THREE (3) COPIES TO GIVE AWAY.
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Today is old friends day.  You have met Jodi, from WOW! many times, and with her today is Lisa de Nikolits, who visited back in March of last year and is back to tell us of her newest book.   So I ask in helping me give these ladies a warm Welcome Back to CMash Reads!!  Friends……Ms. Lisa de Nikolits!

LISA de NIKOLITS

Originally from South Africa, Lisa de Nikolits has been a Canadian citizen since 2003. She has a Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and Philosophy and has lived in the U.S.A., Australia and Britain.

Her first novel, The Hungry Mirror, won the 2011 IPPY Awards Gold Medal for Women’s Issues Fiction and was long-listed for a ReLit Award. Her second novel, West of Wawa won the 2012 IPPY Silver Medal Winner for Popular Fiction and was one ofChatelaine’s four Editor’s Picks. Lisa has also written poetry, short stories, magazine articles and children’s books. She also spent many years as the art director for fashion magazines around the world.

Connect with Lisa at these sites:

Q&A with Lisa

  -Do you draw from personal experiences and/or current events?
Yes and no! In general, whenever my writing has drawn too closely from my own experiences, my editors have deemed the prose banal or the character vacuous! So I might take a kernel of my experience and develop things from there. For example, I art direct magazines in my day job and I took a lot of the scenarios and things I heard or saw while at work for my novel The Hungry Mirror, but I created fictitious characters and their fictitious responses to those events and I created a story and plot that didn’t exist in real life.

I don’t tend to draw from current events – well, that’s to say I haven’t done so to this point! I am very open to stories; I welcome them to come to me from any and all avenues. I do view everything in my life as having potential for a story’s beginning; I test things almost subconsciously and see if anything worthy can come of it.

If we look at A Glittering Chaos, it all started because my husband bumped into a German woman in the elevator in Las Vegas and she couldn’t speak English. He came back and told me and I thought ‘wow, imagine being in Vegas and not be able to speak English…’ And it all burgeoned from there: the imagine if… I tried to imagine the worst possible consequence and work backwards from there.

  -Do you start with the conclusion and plot in reverse or start from the beginning and see where the story line brings you?
I go back and forth! If we look at A Glittering Chaos, I started off with my husband’s chance encounter with the German woman and I wondered what the worst possible consequence could be, as a result of her not being able to speak English. Obviously it would be that she was murdered but I liked her (and by ‘her’ I mean my character, as I never met the elevator woman) and so I didn’t want to kill her or have her die.

So… she comes out of it alive but what has she lost? And what has she gained? And how is her life different and what did she learn and how did she grow?

Those are the most important questions I ask myself when crafting a story and I go back and forth with what happens and how it happens.

I was fortunate to receive some excellent feedback from an editor who said I had way too much in the book and he outlined what he thought would make for a good novel. I had my doubts, I didn’t think there was enough there but I went on trust and it worked out just fine.

I tend to overplot, overplan and work in too many things. I’ve had to learn the hard way (i.e. rewriting and rewriting and more rewriting) to take it out.

  -Your routine when writing?  Any idiosyncrasies?
I like to wear a hat. The hat changes! That’s my only idiosyncrasy.

I have quite a taxing day job and I work a lot of long hours there, so I don’t have a routine per se.

I try to write for an hour or so every night (and the timing on that varies) and I get up early on the weekends and try to do as much as I can. My writing motto is ‘Do One Thing A Day’– whether it’s write a blog post or do a bit for my novel or read something on the style of writing, I try to do just one thing a day. That way I feel as if at least I am doing what I can, I am taking a step forward every day, even a small step.

  -Is writing your full time job?  If not, may I ask what you do by day?
I’d love writing to be my full time job! That said, not many novelists can support themselves in this way; I recently read that there are twenty novelists in Canada who do this for their day job.

I am a magazine art director and I’ve worked all around the world on different magazines. I was Senior Art Director for marie claire South African, Art Director of Vogue Living Australia and am currently the art director of Canadian Health and Lifestyle magazine and Cosmetics magazine.

I’ve chatted to a lot of fellow writers and I feel that I am very fortunate in having such a different day job to my writing because I’m not burnt out when I get home; I’m not tired of words. My writing is an escape into a completely different world and it feels fresh and exciting at the end of a long day.

I would hate to design pages all day and then have to come home and design more pages – and for me, that’s what it would be like to write by day and then try to write by night too.

A lot of writers who write by day have told me that they struggle to get motivated to write when they get home and so I think I’m very lucky to have such a different job – each fuels off the energy generated by the other – I think I’m a better art director too, because I write! And not to mention the wealth of stories that I come across in my day job!

  -Who are some of your favorite authors?
I’d like to answer this question as being “which authors would you like to write like?”

Anakana Schofield (Malarky), Lisa Moore (February), Harry Crews (Body and Feast of Snakes), John Steinbeck (Cannery Row and East of Eden), Edeet Ravel (Wall of Light and Ten Thousand Lovers), Liz Worth (Eleven Eleven, PostApoc), Gordon (Cosmo), Stuart Ross (Farmer Gloomy’s New Hybrid).

  -What are you reading now?
Because one review recently likened my book to Madame Bovary (the review is posted on my website), I reread that very recently and highly recommend it. I read the latest Lee Childs (A Wanted Man), Denise Mina (Gods and Beasts), Girlfriend In A Coma (Douglas Coupland), I read the latest novel by Rosemary McCracken (Black Water) and thoroughly enjoyed it and I read the vivid and poetic PostApoc by Liz Worth which haunted me for days. I’ve got Drunk Mom (Jowita Bydlowska) lined up, along with Dirty Bird (Keir Lowther). As you can see, I like to mix it up!

I am very much looking forward to the follow-up book by D.J. McIntosh, author of The Witch of Babylon (Penguin). Her second novel, The Book Of Stolen Tales is due to launch soon and I can’t wait! It’s great when you find authors you love to follow.

I read a lot of poetry because I think that’s the best writing; it’s so succinct and so powerful. I tweet a quote every day from a poem that inspires my writing.

I loved Probably Inevitable by Matthew Tierney and I am currently enjoying Exaltation in Cadmium Red by Sonia di Placido and Come Late to the Love of Birds by Sandra Kasturi.

  -Are you working on your next novel?  Can you tell us a little about it?
I am! I have another novel due out next year; The Witchdoctor’s Bones. This novel has a bunch of tourists travelling through Namibia; it’s all very Agatha  Christie-like! This novel is due to be launched in 2014.

I am also working on another novel: Between The Cracks She Fell and I am at about 40 000 words. I aim to have the first draft of this novel completed by year end. This one’s about a young woman who loses her job and her home and takes up residence in an abandoned old school. It’s being a lot of fun to write!

Fun questions:
  -Your novel will be a movie.  Who would you cast?
I have it all worked out, with pictures too!

Melusine (protagonist): Jean Tripplehorn
Kateri (long lost sister): Michelle Pfeiffer
Juditha Estima (psychic): Jennifer Connelly
Hans Meier (husband): William Hurt (about ten or fifteen years ago)
Jonas Meier (young Josh Hartnett)
Gunther (Harvey Keitel)

  -Would you rather read or watch TV/movie?
I have a mini routine for this! I like to watch a TV or a movie on Friday nights – Friday night is TV night! I don’t watch a lot of TV in general; I watch CSI Las Vegas, Criminal Minds, The Big Bang Theory and Modern Family. My husband and I sometimes watch all four on a Friday night! I write most nights and therefore don’t have much time for TV, and I try to read a bit every night too. Sometimes it’s nice to watch a movie or TV on a Sunday night too but only if I’ve done enough writing (and reading). Fortunately my husband is very understanding of my commitment to writing and he happily watches a lot of sport by himself or plays his lap steel or works on his photographs.

  -Favorite food?
Pancakes! And chocolate (any kind except for dark chocolate). I have a very sweet tooth and could happily eat cake for breakfast, pancakes for lunch and chocolate for supper!

  -Favorite beverage?
I’d like to answer this with beverages plural! I love Tim Horton’s coffee. When they first introduced their new Extra Large size I was appalled, I thought who on earth could consume that much coffee (or tea)? It looks close to a liter of liquid! Now I’m ashamed to say that I can easily drink two of them in a day! I love Oolong tea and I drink a lot of that. I love a white wine spritzer with soda water at the end of the day and I love Black Velvet Toasted Caramel Flavoured Whisky. Again you can see the sweet tooth coming into play! And I love Crystal Lite Tangerine Grapefruit.

Thank you very much for having me as a guest on your blog and I most sincerely hope your readers will give A Glittering Chaos a try!

ABOUT THE BOOK

A terrific, smart, funny and incredibly wise story about marriage, secrets and lies and unusual sexual proclivities.

A German woman in her early-forties insists on accompanying her husband to Las Vegas, where he has a business conference. Unknown to her the conference is a pretext; he’s there to find a psychic who will help him contact his sister who vanished at fourteen.

A key theme is how one person’s psychiatric problems can move like a destructive whirlwind through other people’s lives and within the confines of a curious and shifting family dynamic.

Melusine (protagonist) is a passionate and creative woman with a high tolerance for the eccentric expressions of human frailty. From suppressed wife and librarian to nude model; to writer of an erotic Sapphic novella; and finally to pastry chef and adoptive mother of a baby boy, she has a good sense of self-discovery-she embraces her erotic desires with self-love after she realises, with surprise, that she even has an erotic self.

A Glittering Chaos is a novel about empowerment and new beginnings at every stage of life, with a diverse cast of unconventional characters of all ages and sexual orientations who find themselves in intriguingly unusual situations.

BOOK DETAILS:

Paperback: 300 pages
Publisher: Inanna Publishing (May 30, 2013)
ISBN-10: 192670892X
ISBN-13: 978-1926708928

PURCHASE LINKS:

THANKS TO JODI AT WOW!,
I HAVE ONE (1) COPY TO GIVE AWAY.
PRINT-OPEN TO U.S. and CANADA RESIDENTS
or EBOOK-OPEN TO ALL

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Glad you could stop by today and visit.  Samantha from JKS Communications is here to introduce us to today’s guest.  Please help me in welcoming Ms. Theresa Rizzo to CMash Reads!

THERESA RIZZO

Theresa Rizzo is an award-winning author who writes emotional stories that explore the complexity of relationships and families through real-life trials. Born and raised in Grosse Pointe, Michigan, she now lives outside of Boulder, Colorado with her husband of thirty years.

Connect with Theresa at these sites:

ABOUT THE BOOK

He Belongs to Me is a love story . . . a tale of betrayal and deception and of a young mother’s determination to recover what belongs to her.

Forced to leave her baby and tricked into relinquishing her parental rights, four years later Catherine Boyd is back and she’ll do anything to regain custody of her son–even reconcile with the husband falsely accused of killing their son’s twin.

All in the name of love for a little boy, generations of pain and tragedy are exposed in a courtroom drama.

Read an excerpt

BOOK DETAILS:

Paperback: 394 pages
Publisher: Theresa Rizzo (June 1, 2013)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0989045013
ISBN-13: 978-0989045018

PURCHASE LINKS:

THANKS TO SAMANTHA AT JKS COMMUNICATIONS,
I HAVE ONE (1) DIGITAL COPY TO GIVE AWAY.
OPEN TO ALL–EBOOK

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I am always happy when an author comes back to visit because it means that he has been busy on another book.    Which in turns, means another book to add to our list.  So without further ado, Mr. Layton Green!!!  Welcome back!!!!!

LAYTON GREEN

Layton Green is the author of the Dominic Grey series. Please visit him at at www.laytongreen.com for additional information on Layton, his works, and more. You might find him in the corner of a dark and smoky café in Bogotá, researching the next Dominic Grey novel.

Connect with Layton at these sites:

Q&A with Layton Green

On Writing and Reading:
-Do you draw from personal experiences and/or current events?
A: For sure.  I believe all writers draw (or are at least inspired by) personal experience, and I am always on the lookout for interesting current events.  I try to infuse each Dominic Grey novel with at least one timely current event or issue (such as the Zimbabwean political situation for The Summoner, the scientific search for eternal life with The Egyptian, and the conflux of social media and demagogues in The Diabolist).

-Do you start with the conclusion and plot in reverse or start from the beginning and see where the story line brings you?
A:  Good question, and it depends.  Usually I start at the beginning, create a rough outline, and fill it in as I write.  Sometimes, however, an ending does present itself earlier.

-Your routine when writing?  Any idiosyncrasies?
A: I had idiosyncrasies before I became a serious writer.  Now I write every day in the mornings for at least a few hours, and more during the day as my schedule permits.  I used to write at night, but it’s tough with a family.

-Is writing your full time job?  If not, may I ask what you do by day?
A: I’m also an attorney.

-Who are some of your favorite authors?
A: Dan Simmons, James Lee Burke, Dennis Lehane, Michael Gruber, Herman Hesse, Murakami, Roger Zelazny, Ray Bradbury, China Mieville, Martin Amis, and many more.  There’re a lot of seriously talented authors out there.

-What are you reading now?
A: Ready Player One by Ernest Cline.  It’s quickly becoming one of my favorite novels of all time.

-Are you working on your next novel?  Can you tell us a little about it?
A: I am working on the next Dominic Grey novel.  I can’t say much, except that it involves an esoteric and highly intriguing cult, and that Grey will be going south of the border . . . way south.

Fun questions:
-Your novel will be a movie.  Who would you cast?
Great question – assuming Spielberg buys my novel and we have unlimited choice (‘natch), I’d go for Christian Bale as Grey.  I’m having trouble casting Viktor.  I’ve tossed around Liam Neeson, Javier Bardem (with heel implants) and Donald Sutherland.  Any thoughts??

-Would you rather read or watch TV/movie?
A: Read.

-Favorite food?
A: Baby back ribs.  Or sushi.  Or a dry-aged ribeye.  Or great pizza.

-Favorite beverage?
A: Zaya rum, one ice cube, pinch of lime.

ABOUT THE BOOK

In this gripping thriller, the bizarre murder of a Satanic priest in San Francisco draws Dominic Grey and Viktor Radek, private investigators of cults, to the scene.  Witnesses claim a robed figure, seemingly able to appear and disappear at will, set fire to the priest.  When the leader of another Satanic cult in Paris dies under similar circumstances, the case only grows stranger… and more dangerous.

Convinced that a charismatic New Age prophet is behind the murders, the investigators undergo a perilous journey into the world of the occult as they try to penetrate the prophet’s inner circle.  From the catacombs of Paris to London’s nefarious East End, from the haunted walls of York to a monastic fortress in the Sicilian wilderness, the case plunges Viktor and Grey into a vortex of black magic, ancient heresies, and the dark corners of their own pasts.

The Diabolist is a chilling novel that not only pulsates with action and suspense, but also mines a trove of fascinating historical, philosophical, and paranormal research to probe some of our closest held beliefs.  From the opening pages to the astonishing conclusion, this latest  installment in one of today’s most original new thriller series is not to be missed.

BOOK DETAILS:

Paperback: 388 pages
Publisher: Thomas & Mercer (June 4, 2013)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1611099846
ISBN-13: 978-1611099843

PURCHASE LINKS:

THANKS TO AUTHOR, LAYTON GREEN,
I HAVE ONE (1) SIGNED COPY TO GIVE AWAY.
OPEN TO U.S. and CANADA RESIDENTS

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We have all heard stories about the mother-in-law, daughter-in-law dynamics.  Not all are favorable.   And as some of you know, my youngest son is getting married in November, which means, I officially will add that title to my name.  So when Rebecca, from The Cadence Group emailed me about today’s guest, I responded immediately.  I do have to say that my husband and I are blessed, our future daughter-in-law, Jess, is beautiful both inside and out.  We already consider her our “own” daughter.  Please help me in welcoming Dr. Deanna Brann.

DR. DEANNA BRANN

Deanna Brann, Ph.D., is a leading expert in the field of mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationships. She has more than 25 years experience as a clinical psychotherapist and ran her own private practice for more than 18 years. Based in Knoxville, TN, Dr. Brann is a sought after speaker, author and seminar leader. She is the two-time author of Reluctantly Related: Secrets To Getting Along With Your Mother-in-Law or Daughter-in-Law and Mothers-in-Law and Daughters-in-Law Say the Darndest Things. 

Connect with Dr.. Brann at these sites:

GUEST POST

Five Reasons Why You Struggle with Your In-Laws

Put a group of women together, bring up the subject of mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law, and you can almost hear the electricity start to crackle in the air. Whether they can’t stand one another, don’t “get” one another, or just feel at a loss about how to deal with one another, one thing is certain—women who struggle with this relationship have a story to tell:

• “She did it again! No matter what I say, she completely ignores me and does whatever she wants, whenever she wants.”

• “My son and I used to be so close until he married her. Now he barely speaks to me!”

• “Why does she have to be so intrusive, so controlling?”

• “She won’t let me see my grandchildren!”

The mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship is surely one of the most confusing and difficult relationships one can experience—no matter what side of it you’re on. You don’t yet feel like family, and you aren’t really friends, but you’re definitely more than casual acquaintances. To get a handle on how to approach this tricky relationship, it helps to understand these five reasons why it’s such a struggle in the first place:

1. The artificial element: Let’s face it, you didn’t choose to be in each other’s lives. You and your in-law are thrown together because you both love this one man—your husband or your son. Even though you don’t really know each other as individuals, you have to create a relationship (rather quickly, I might add) because you are now “family.”
2. Different stages, different emotional places: You and your in-law are at different stages in your lives. The mother-in-law has already made a home and life of her own. And the daughter-in-law is just getting started on these aspects of her life (and understandably wants to do it her way). The two of you are also in different emotional places. So much of what a mother-in-law focuses on is based on what she’s learned in her past experiences, while a daughter-in-law is focusing more on the future that she wants to create.
1. Personal history and carry-on baggage: Each of you came into this relationship with your own history and emotional baggage, so each of you has different personal issues. Those issues greatly impact how you perceive and react to what the other says and does.
1. Perception is reality (or is it?): Because of these different issues, each of you also has her own perception of reality. So what one sees as a helpful, positive suggestion or offer, the other may well see as clear evidence of meddling and controlling (or vice versa). It’s the same situation seen through differently tinted glasses.
1. There’s reacting, and then there’s reacting! Just as your perception can be skewed, so can your reaction to what you see. When your in-law reacts to something you said or did, that reaction is based on her perception, which is likely to be very different from yours. If her perception is off, you can easily think her reaction is coming out of left field, even if it makes perfect sense to her.

Given all these challenges, you may well feel that your in-law relationship is certainly doomed, but trust me—there is hope! As you understand these factors and their impact on the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship, you will gain a greater understanding of the situation. And then you’ll be much better equipped to sidestep the land mines along the way.

ABOUT THE BOOK

Change your struggling in-law relationship today! Through humor, compassion and focus, I’ll show you how, step-by-step. In my book, Reluctantly Related I give you the understanding and the tools to make positive, lasting changes in your mother-in-law or daughter-in-law relationship. You don’t have to feel powerless or hopeless in your relationship!
· Learn the secrets to making change possible.
· Learn practical yet effective tools and skills that build your confidence and empower you with both your in-law and others.
· Learn how to transform your relationship without having to confront your in-law.

There has never been such an entertaining yet helpful resource on the specific problems between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. Reluctantly Related provides unique, straightforward help to any “MIL/DIL challenged” family, and should be required reading for newlyweds and their mothers!

BOOK DETAILS:

ISBN-13: 9780988810006
Publisher: New Shelves Publishing Services
Publication date: 2/25/2013
Pages: 186

PURCHASE LINKS:

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