Month: August 2013

Guest Author FRANKIE Y. BAILEY

 

WELCOME FRANKIE Y. BAILEY

FRANKIE Y. BAILEY

FRANKIE Y. BAILEY is an associate professor in the School of Criminal Justice, University at Albany (SUNY). Bailey is the author of mysteries as well as non-fiction titles that explore the intersections of crime, history, and popular culture. Bailey is a Macavity Award-winner and has been nominated for Edgar, Anthony, and Agatha awards. A past executive vice president of Mystery Writers of America and a past president of Sisters in Crime, she is on the Albany Bouchercon 2013 planning committee.
Connect with Frankie at these sites:

WEBSITE     TWITTER    

Q&A with Frankie Y. Bailey

On Writing and Reading
1.  Do you draw from personal experiences and/or current events?
As a criminal justice professor, I do research on crime and American history/culture. This gives me an endless supply of historical and contemporary events to draw on for inspiration as a fiction writer.  In my Lizzie Stuart mystery series, my character is a crime historian, and I use my own research in those books. In The Red Queen Dies, the debut of my Hannah McCabe series, Albany history plays a crucial role. But because  my new series is set in a parallel universe (alternate reality), my treatment of current events has a twist. The when, if, and why of events in my fictional world is somewhat different  than the world we know.  That will become more obvious as the series goes on. I’m having fun with my own version of world-building – an Albany/a world that is a lot like the one we know, but not quite, and now and then not at all like.

I go to the real places that I use as settings. Occasionally what happens while I’m  “on location” ends up being fictionalized in a book. With The Red Queen Dies and my police detective, Hannah McCabe, I draw on experiences such as attending an autopsy and doing ride-alongs and interviews with female police officers and their partners, as well as information I’ve picked up at conferences such at the Writers’ Police Academy.

I think all writers draw on our personal experiences in the sense that we write about what we care about or consider funny or troubling or worth pondering.

2. Do you start with the conclusion and plot in reverse or start from the beginning and see where the story line brings you?
Writers often describe themselves as plotters (who outline), pantsers (who write by seat of pants), or hybrids. I’m a hybrid. I look for something that resonates with me and that I want to write about. In The Red Queen Dies, it was the recurring role that Albany played in the Lincoln-Booth saga. Booth and Lincoln were in Albany on the same day in 1861. A couple of months later, while performing in Albany, an actress stabbed Booth during a lover’s quarrel.  I kept thinking about that episode and what might have happened if the actress, Henrietta Irving, had killed Booth. That led me to my title character, a fictional Broadway actress, who comes to Albany to work on a play about Irving.  I had a chilling piece of Albany history and an Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass theme that worked for my world of 2019.  I outlined as far as I could and began to write.

But, at some point, what most writers – including me – hope is that the characters will begin to take on a life of their own and that they will begin to say and do unexpected things.

Re the ending – because I’m writing a series, I have an overarching series plotline that develops as the series does.  Think of television crime shows in which the murder being investigated is solved each week, but what is happening in the lives of the main characters continues to evolve and play out. I know how that will progress.  But what I’ve found is that the identity of the killer in a given book sometimes changes as I get to know the characters and understand what they want and what they’re willing to do to get it.

3. Your routine when writing? Any idiosyncrasies?
My routine has changed over the year as I went from being unpublished to published. I started out writing/publishing nonfiction as an academic scholar. I have continued my academic research.  Right now, I’m working on a book about clothing, crime, and justice.  My academic research requires time spent in libraries and archives. I also get to read books, watch television and movies, and surf the Internet. Luckily, that research overlaps with the research for my fiction, or vice versa. I write every day. I move back and forth between home and school. What I’m working on depends on deadlines. I try to make as much use as possible of weekends, evenings, and summer. I like to have blocks of time to write rather than a few minutes here and there. But I do a lot of “pre-writing” in my head – for example, bits of dialogue between characters.

Before I can begin writing, I have to have a title. I re-write the first 50 pages over and over again as a kind of warm-up until I can get into the mood and rhythm of the book.

4.  Is writing you full-time job? If not, may I ask what you do by day?
See above.

5. Who are some of your favorite authors?
I usually name dead authors or authors in other genres to avoid leaving out any of the great crime writers who I could mention. I love characters who use wonderful language to describe their emotions. That puts Shakespeare at the top of my list. I did three quarters of Shakespeare as an undergrad. Crime fiction – Rudolph Fisher (The Conjure- Man Dies), Richard Martin Stern (The Johnny Ortiz series), Dick Francis (horse racing).  Classic romantic suspense – Mary Stewart, Phyllis Whitney, Victoria Hope. Mainstream fiction from F. Scott Fitzgerald to Toni Morrison . Trying, without success, to keep up with bestsellers.

6. What are you reading now?
For research, books about being an undertaker, funerals, and superstitions about death and dying. I’m also reading – slowly – Moby Dick, a book that I’ve often started but never finished. I reference Moby Dick in my work in progress.

7. Are you working on your next novel? Can you tell us a little about it?
The working title is Cock Robin’s Funeral.  I love the ballad of Cock Robin and used that as my starting point. This is the second book in my Hannah McCabe series. The time is January 2020, and a funeral director is murdered, shot with an arrow from his own crossbow. This book picks up with and continues to develop a subplot involving several of the main characters. Murder, politics, betrayal, climate change, and a city struggling to cope.

Fun questions:
a. Your novel will be a movie. Who would you cast?
No idea for Hannah McCabe.  But her father, Angus, was inspired by one of my favorite veteran actors, the late Darren McGavin. I loved him as the investigative reporter in “Kolchak: The Night Stalker” and as the grumpy father in “A Christmas Story”. In my alternate reality, he would be alive and well and able to play the role of Angus.

b. Would you rather read or watch TV/movie?
Because my research focuses on crime and mass media/popular culture, I’ve had to learn to read  while watching TV/movie.  If a TV show or movie catches my attention, I stop reading and watch. But, of course, some books or TV/movies, are so good they deserve undivided attention.

c. Favorite food?
Depends on whether I’m trying to be healthy or really indulging. Oatmeal with pears, walnuts, and almond milk vs. fried oysters.

d.  Favorite beverage?
Hot apple cider with lots of cinnamon.

 

ABOUT THE BOOK

The first in a new high-concept police procedural series, set in Albany with an Alice in Wonderland theme.

Frankie Bailey introduces readers to a fabulous new protagonist and an Alice in Wonderland-infused crime in this stunning mystery. The year is 2019, and a drug used to treat soldiers for post-traumatic stress disorder, nicknamed “Lullaby,” has hit the streets. Swallowing a little pill erases traumatic memories, but what happens to a criminal trial when the star witness takes a pill and can’t remember the crime? Biracial detective Hannah McCabe faces similar perplexing problems as she attempts to solve the murders of three women, one of whom, a Broadway actress known as “The Red Queen,” has a special interest in the story of Alice in Wonderland. Is the killer somehow reenacting the children’s tale? This smart, tough mystery will appeal to fans of high-concept police procedurals.

READ AN EXCERPT

DATE: Thursday, 24 October 2019

TIME: 0700 hours

WEATHER TODAY: Mid 90s. Air quality poor. Evening storms.

DISPLAY ON WALL: Wake- up News

“Good morning, everyone. I’m Suzanne Price.

“First, the news from the nation. The federal government says, ‘No hoax, no conspiracy, but still no definitive answers.’

“The administration denies suppressing portions of the commission report on the November 2012 close encounter between NORAD fighter jets and the black boomerang- shaped UFO that appeared over the Mojave Desert, creating worldwide awe and panic before disappearing in a blinding flash of light.

“In Las Vegas, preparations are underway for the now- annual spectacular celebration of that close encounter.

“However, a warning from alien invasion survivalists, who say this seventh anniversary will be the year the spacecraft returns leading an armada. Survivalists plan to retreat to their bunkers on November 2. Gun shop owners report sales of firearms are up, as they are every year as the anniversary approaches.

“Meanwhile, the National Weather Service says another eruption of solar fl ares could cause more communication and power disruptions early next week.

“Forest fi res in both Canada and breakaway nation New France continue to burn out of control, sending smoke southward.

“Scientists taking part in a climate change conference in Philadelphia disagree about the explanation for the significant improvement in the acidity levels of the world’s oceans. ‘It shouldn’t be happening,’ an MIT oceanographer said. ‘Nothing in anyone’s data predicted this turnaround. But I think we can safely rule out divine intervention and UFO babies.’

“Out on the presidential campaign trail, a political firestorm erupts as Republican front- runner Janet Cortez accuses in dependent candidate Howard Miller of ‘rallying angry, frightened people to commit hate crimes.’ During an arena speech yesterday, Miller called on several thousand supporters to ‘reclaim America for Americans’ and ‘restore our way of life.’ Cortez says Miller is ‘morally responsible’ for the attacks that have been escalating since he announced his third- party candidacy.

“Now, here at home . . . a chilling scenario posed by a local crime beat threader. Is there an ‘Albany Ripper’ in our midst?”

“Dammit!” Hannah McCabe jumped back as the grapefruit juice from her overturned glass splashed across the countertop, covering the still- visible display of the nutrition content of her father’s breakfast.

“Bring up the sound,” he said. “I want to hear this.”

“Half a second, Pop. Hands full.” McCabe shoved her holster out of the way and touched clean up before the stream of juice could run off the counter and onto the tile floor.

“. . . Following last night’s Common Council meeting, threader Clarence Redfield interrupted a statement by Detective Wayne Jacoby, the Albany Police Department spokesperson . . .”

In the chief of police’s office, Jacoby struggled to keep his expression neutral as the footage of the press conference and his exchange with Redfield began to roll.

“The Albany Police Department remains hopeful that the Common Council will approve both funding requests. The first to expand GRTYL, our Gang Reduction Through Youth Leadership program, and the second to enhance the surveillance—”

“Detective Jacoby, isn’t it true that the Albany PD is engaged in a cover- up? Isn’t it true that the Albany PD has failed to inform the citizens of this city of what they have a right to know?”

“I know you want to off er your usual observations, Mr. Redfield. But if you will hold your questions until I finish—”

“Isn’t it true that we have a serial killer at work here in Albany, Detective? Isn’t it true that a secret police task force has been created to try to

track down a killer who has been preying on women here in this city?”

“That is . . . no, that is not true, Mr. Redfield. There is no secret task force, nor is there any cover- up. We . . . the Albany PD does not engage in . . .”

From his position by the window, Chief Egan said, “Stammering like a frigging schoolgirl makes it hard to believe you’re telling the truth, Wayne.”

“The little bastard caught me off guard,” Jacoby said, his annoyance getting the better of him.

The others at the table avoided his glance, their gazes focused on the wall where his confrontation with Redfield was continuing.

“So, Detective, you’re telling us that there aren’t two dead women who—”

“I’m telling you, Mr. Redfield, that we have ongoing investigations into two cases involving female victims who—”

“Who were the victims of a serial killer?”

“We have two female homicide victims. Both deaths were drug- induced and both occurred within the past six weeks. On each occasion, we made available to the media, including yourself, information about—”

“But you didn’t release the details that link the two cases. You didn’t tell the media or the citizens of this city that both women were—”

“We do not release the details of ongoing homicide investigations, Mr. Redfield. And you are not aiding these investigations with your grandstanding.”

“My grandstanding? Don’t you think it’s time someone told the women of Albany that the police can’t protect them? That they should stay off the streets after dark, get inside when the fog rolls in, and lock their doors? Shouldn’t someone tell the taxpaying citizens of this city that in spite of all the hype about your Big Brother surveillance system, a killer is still moving like a phantom through the—”

“What the citizens of Albany should know is that the Albany PD is bringing all its resources and those of other law- enforcement agencies to bear to solve these two cases. Veteran detectives are following every lead. And the citywide surveillance system the department has implemented—”

“When it’s working, Detective Jacoby. Isn’t it true that the solar flares have been giving your system problems?”

One of the captains sitting at the conference table in Chief Egan’s office groaned. “Is he just guessing?”

On the wall, Jacoby’s jaw was noticeably clinched.

“As I was about to say, Mr. Redfield, before we began this back- and-forth, the DePloy surveillance system has been effective both in reducing crime and solving the crimes that have occurred. That is the end of this discussion.”

“You mean ‘Shut up or I’m out of here’?”

“Ladies and gentlemen of the press, I am now going to finish the official statement regarding funding. I will only respond to questions on that subject. . . .”

Chief Egan said, “Not one of your better performances, Wayne. You let him rattle you.” He walked over and sat down at the head of the table. “Her Royal Highness, the mayor, was not pleased when she called me last night.”

On the wall, the anchorwoman took over.

“Detective Jacoby then completed his statement about the proposals before the Common Council. When a reporter tried to return to the allegation made by crime beat threader Clarence Redfield that a serial killer is at work in Albany, Detective Jacoby ended the press conference and left the podium.

Mr. Redfield himself declined to respond to questions from reporters about the source of his information. We’ll have more for you on this story as details become available.

“In another matter before the Common Council, a proposed emergency expansion of the existing no masks or face- covering ordinance to include Halloween night. The new ordinance would apply to everyone over eight years of age. The recent outbreak of crimes involving juveniles . . .”

“Now, they’re even trying to take away Halloween,” Angus McCabe said from his place at the kitchen table. “Well? Any truth to it? Do we have ourselves a serial killer on the loose?”

McCabe put her empty juice glass on the shelf inside the dishwasher. “Since when do you consider Clarence Redfield a reliable source, Pop?”

“He ain’t. But I’ve spent more than half my life grilling official mouthpieces, and the way Jacoby was squirming—”

“Jacoby can’t stand Redfield. You know that.” McCabe snagged her thermo jacket from the back of her chair and bent to kiss his forehead. “And you’re retired now, remember?”

“I may be retired, but I’m not dead yet. What’s going on?”

“Got to run, Pop. Have a good day.”

“Have a good day nothing.” He rose to follow her into the hall.

“Hank McCabe, you tell me what’s—”

“Can’t discuss it. I’ll pick us up some dinner on the way home. Chinese okay?”

He scowled at her, his eyes the same electric blue they had always been, the bristling brows gone gray.

“No, Chinese ain’t okay. I’m tired of Chinese. I’ll cook dinner tonight. I’ve got all day to twiddle my thumbs. What else do I have to do but make dinner?”

“I thought you might intend to work on your book. You do have that deadline coming up in a couple of months.”

“Book, hell. There ain’t no book. I’m giving the advance back.”

“If that’s what you want to do,” McCabe said. “On the other hand, you could just sit down and write the book.”

“You try writing a damn book, Ms. Detective.”

“Not my area of expertise. But you’ve done it a few times before. Even won an award or two.”

“This one’s different. Nobody would read it even if I wrote it. And don’t ‘If that’s what you want to do’ me. We were talking about this serial killer that Redfield claims—”

“Sorry, Pop, I really do have to go. I want to get in a few minutes early this morning.”

“Why? What are you—”

She closed the door on his demand that she get herself back there and tell him what was going on. Striding to her car, McCabe tried to ignore the whiff of smoke that she could taste in the back of her throat and the sticky air, which made her want to step back into the shower. The heat was due to break to night. That would clear the air.

And Pop would pull himself out of his funk. He always did.

Of course, the other times, he’d had an office to go to . . . and no restrictions on his alcohol consumption.

“I have every confidence in your ability to get what we need, Mike boy.”

“Right.” Baxter fl ashed his best cocky grin. “You know you can

count on me.”

His caller nodded. “I know I can.” He pointed his finger at Baxter. “Watch your back out there, you hear me?”

He disconnected, his image fading from the screen. Baxter closed his ORB and leaned back on his cream leather sofa.

He stretched his arms over his head, fingers clasped. His gaze fell on the framed photograph on his desk. Himself in dress blues. Graduation day from the Academy.

Baxter grunted, then laughed. “You should have seen this one coming, Mike boy.”

He rubbed his hand across his mouth, whistled. “Well hell.”

Baxter reached for his ORB again. He pulled up a file and began to update his notes.

When he was done, he grabbed his thermo jacket and headed for the door.

His mind on other things, he left the apartment on cooldown and the lights on in the bathroom, but the condo’s environmental system had gone into energy- saver mode by the time he reached the lobby.

In the garage, Baxter paused for his usual morning ritual, admiring the burgundy sheen of his vintage 1967 Mustang convertible.

Then he got into his three- year- old hybrid and headed in to work.

McCabe was stuck in traffic on Central Avenue, waiting for an opening to maneuver around a florist van.

In Albany, double parking had always been considered a civic right. With more traffic each year and the narrow lanes that had been carved out for Zip cars and tri- bikes, Central Avenue in the morning was like it must have been when Albany was a terminus for slaughter houses, with cattle driven along Central Avenue Turnpike.

Stop, start, nose, and try not to trample one another as they moved toward their destinations.

McCabe tilted her head from side to side and shrugged her shoulders. What she needed, yearned for, was a long run. Even with geosimulators, five miles on a machine was never as good as running outside.

McCabe’s attention was caught by a fl ash of color. On the sidewalk in front of Los Amigos, a young black woman in a patchwork summer skirt laughed as an older man, suave and mustachioed, swirled her in a samba move. Still laughing, she disengaged herself and scooped up her straw handbag from the sidewalk. Hand over his heart, the man called out to his impromptu dance partner. Giggling, she went on her way.

Stopped by the traffic light at the intersection, McCabe lowered her window enough to hear the music coming from the open doorway of the restaurant. Before it was Mexican, the place had been Ca rib be an, and before that, Indian. The owners of the hair salon on one side and the discount store on the other had complained about this latest example of ethnic succession. Loud  music, spicy smells— in other words, the threat posed by “Mexs” moving into this block as they had others. Some legal, some American citizens, some neither, arriving in Albany in greater numbers during the years when the convention center was going up. Now the resentment was more vocal, the sense of being in competition greater. Even the imagined threat of an interplanetary invasion hadn’t changed that dynamic. Earthlings still distrusted other earthlings. They defended what they thought of as their turf.

Since the UFO, old episodes of Rod Serling’s Twilight Zone had become a cult favorite with teen “space zombies.” According to Pop, the zombies weren’t the only ones who should be watching the series. He

claimed that in the event of another close encounter, Rod Serling had left instructions. Rule number one: Even if the spacecraft looks flashy,

check to make sure it isn’t a balloon from a Thanksgiving Day parade. Rule number two: Even if the lights do start going on and off ,

don’t turn on your neighbors, assuming they must be the aliens. Rule number three: Even if the “visitors” introduce themselves and seem friendly, ask for additional information about how they plan “to serve” mankind before hopping on their spaceship.

Meanwhile, daily life continued on Central Avenue, where Zoe

James, the black female own er of the beauty shop, refused to patronize the Mexican restaurant next door.

At least she and Sung Chang, the Korean- American owner of the discount store, had stopped calling the cops every time the music and dancing overfl owed onto the sidewalk. Of course, the janet cortez para presidente sign now on proud display in Los Amigos’s front window might set them off again. Both James and Chang had signs supporting the current vice president, who was male, black (biracial, actually), and likely to be the Demo cratse nominee.

But according to Pop, the candidate they all needed to be worried about, should be scared to death of, actually, was Howard Miller, that smiling “man of the people.” Howard Miller, who was as smooth as the churned butter from that family- owned farm he boasted about having grown up on.

McCabe stared hard at the traffic light that was supposed to adjust for traffic flow and right now was doing nothing at all. She decided to give it another thirty seconds before she reported a problem.

Howard Miller.

They hadn’t looked at that kind of hate crime because they had two white female victims. But the murder weapon . . . What if one of Miller’s crazy followers . . .

Horns blared.

McCabe was reaching for her ORB when the traffic light flickered and went from red to green.

More horns blared.

Three women, pushing metal shopping carts, had decided to make a last-minute dash across the busy intersection. White with a hint of a tan, clad in light- colored shorts and T-shirts, they were too clean to be homeless.

The women were almost to the other side when a bike messenger zipped around a double- parked produce truck.

The women darted out of his way. He skidded and went down hard. Sunlight sparkled on his blue helmet, but his work- tanned legs were bare and vulnerable.

One of the women looked back, peering over her designer sunglasses. She called out something. Maybe it was “Sorry about that.”

Then she and her fellow scavenger hunters sprinted away in the direction of Washington Park, where Radio KZAC must be holding today’s meet- up.

The taxi driver behind McCabe leaned on his horn. She waved for him to go around her.

She watched the bike messenger get up on wobbly legs. He looked down at his knee and grimaced. But the next moment, he was checking his bike. Then he grabbed for his leather satchel before a car could run over it. Hopping back on his bike, he pedaled off .

A car pulled away from the curb, opening up a spot a few feet away from Cambrini’s Bakery. McCabe shot forward and did a quick parallel park.

She got out and headed toward the intertwined aromas of fresh-baked muffins and black coffee. Maybe the day wasn’t going to be so bad after all.

The line wound back to the door, but it seemed to be moving fast. McCabe glanced at the old- fashioned chalkboard that always had the morning’s “featured muffin.” Not in the mood for pumpkin, she found what she wanted on the menu and sent her order from her ORB to checkout before joining the queue.

“Good morning, sister. Is God blessing you this fine day?”

She turned toward the deep voice and beaming smile of the man in the black New York Yankees baseball cap and the white suit and white shirt, which contrasted with his chocolate brown skin.

“Good morning, Reverend Deke.”

“I said, sister, ‘Is God blessing you this fine day?’ ”

“Yes, thank you, He is,” McCabe said.

“I’m pleased to hear that.”

Reverend Deke went out the door carrying his steaming coffee cup. By high noon, he would be bringing “the message” to any of the office workers who decided to leave the climate- controlled Empire State Plaza complex to patronize the lunch wagons lined up along the street. Some of the workers would pause to listen as Reverend Deke broke into one of the spirituals that he had learned on his Georgia- born grandmother’s knee.

McCabe watched him go, greeting the people he passed.

Ten minutes later, she was jammed in sideways at the counter by

the window, munching on a lemon-blueberry-pecan muffin. Half a day’s supply of antioxidants, and it even tasted like it was made with real sugar.

The police frequency on her ORB lit up. She touched the screen to see the message that Comm Center had sent out to patrol cars.

McCabe swallowed the last bite of her muffin and grabbed her ice coffee container from the counter.

Out of the sidewalk, she spoke into her transmitter. “Dispatch,

Detective McCabe also responding to that call. En route.”

“Copy, McCabe. Will advise,” the dispatcher responded.

Mike Baxter picked up the same dispatch as he was pulling out of the fast- food drive-thru. He shoved his coffee cup into the holder and reached for his siren.

“Dispatch, Detective Baxter also responding.”

“Copy, Baxter. McCabe’s headed that way, too.”

“Thought she would be. This could be our guy.”

“Happy hunting.”

McCabe pulled herself to the top of the fence and paused to look down into the alley. She jumped and landed on the other side, one foot slipping in dog shit. The man she was chasing darted a glance behind him and kept running.

In a half squat, McCabe drew her weapon and fired. Her bola wrapped around the man’s legs. He sprawled forward, entangled in the cords, crashing into moldering cardboard boxes and other garbage.

McCabe ran toward him. He twisted onto his side, trying to sit up and free himself.

“Get these ropes off me, bitch!”

“Stay down,” she said, training the weapon, now set to stun, on the perp’s scrawny torso. “Roll over on your belly.”

He looked up at her face, then at the gun. Either he was convinced she would use it or deterred by the minicam that was attached to the weapon and was recording their encounter. He sagged back to the ground and rolled over.

She stepped to the side, about to order him to raise his arm behind his back so that she could slip on the fi rst handcuff .

“You got him!” Mike Baxter said, running up. He was sweating, cheeks flushed, eyes bright with excitement. “That was great.”

“Cuff him,” McCabe said, trying not to let Baxter see that she was breathing hard.

She was thirty- four to Baxter’s twenty- nine, and, yes, she had outrun him. But she should be in better shape than this. Today’s air-quality reading was no excuse. Baxter snapped the cuffs into place and McCabe retracted her bola.

Baxter hauled the perp to his feet.

“Hey, man, this is police brutality, you hear me?” the perp said.

“I’m gonna sue both of you.”

“That all you got to say?” Baxter said.

“Say? You’re supposed to read me my rights, man.”

“You got it, man,” Baxter said. “You have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can be used against you . . .” He recited the words with the controlled irony of a cop who had been saying them for several decades. But he looked like a college kid. That was why he had been recruited from patrol to work undercover vice. But word was that he had wanted out of that and played a commendably discrete game of departmental politics, involving his godfather, the assistant chief, to get reassigned.

Sirens screeching, two police cruisers pulled into the alley.

Baxter grinned at McCabe. “Great way to start the day, huh, partner?”

“Absolutely,” she said, scrapping her shoe on the edge of a mildewed cardboard box.

She hoped he realized that the likelihood that this was the guy they were looking for was about zilch.

BOOK DETAILS:

Genre: Mystery & Detective
Published by: Minotaur Books
Publication Date: Sept 10, 2013
Number of Pages: 304
ISBN: 978-0-312-64175-7 / 978-1-250-03717-6

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I received a copy of this book, at no charge to me, in exchange for my honest review. No items that I receive are ever sold…they are kept by me, or given to family and/or friends.
ADDENDUM
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Guest Author CAROL E. WYER showcase & giveaway ENDED

 

WELCOME BACK CAROL E. WYER

CAROL E. WYER

After completing a degree in French and English at Keele University, Carol Wyer became a language teacher in Casablanca, Morocco. She ran the EFL department at a private UK school (a non-magical Hogwarts), set up Language 2000 Ltd, teaching a variety of languages, including basic Japanese, and translated documents. Recurring medical problems forced her to give up teaching and become a fitness instructor. Thanks to older age, she now writes novels, articles and books that poke fun at getting older. Known for her light-hearted take on life, Carol has written two award-winning novels and now also tours giving talks on how to age disgracefully.
Connect with Carol at these sites:

WEBSITE          TWITTER    

ABOUT THE BOOK

Is your Grumpy Old Man getting under your feet? Is he wrestling with retirement? Are you wondering if you should bundle him up and entrust him to basket-weaving classes? Then this book could be the answer to your prayers. This light hearted guide is packed full of lively ideas, anecdotes and quips. Not only does it set out to provide laughs, but offers over 700 ideas and ways to keep a Grumpy Old Man occupied. From collecting airline sick bags to zorbing, you will be sure to find an absorbing pastime for your beloved curmudgeon. There are examples of those who have faced extraordinary challenges in older age, fascinating facts to interest a reluctant partner and innovative ideas drizzled, of course, with a large dollop of humor. Written tongue-in-cheek, this book succeeds in proving that getting older doesn’t mean the end of life or having fun. It provides amusing answers to the question, “How on Earth will my husband fill in his time in his retirement?” It offers suggestions on what might, or most certainly might not, amuse him. Ideal for trivia buffs, those approaching retirement, (or just at a loose end) and frustrated women who have an irritable male on their hands, this book will lighten any mood and may even prevent the odd murder.
Read my review here.

Read an excerpt
Without further ado, let’s look at the abundance of activities that your Grumpy can enjoy beginning with the letter A.
Introduce your Grumpy to the absorbing and completely time-consuming hobby of aviation, particularly aeroplanes.
First, get him a copy of Top Gun (or any good film about flying) to whet his appetite. Next, purchase a trial flying lesson. He’ll love it. Honestly, he will. Don’t be mean though, and get him an aerobatic flight. He’ll come home a horrible pasty shade of grey, and you’ll never get him to agree to that holiday to Alicante you hoped you could take next year.
Once he has “the flying bug”, ensure he signs up for flying lessons. Now, you’ll have to make some serious economies to fund this new hobby, and you’ll have to forget that holiday to Alicante for a while, but it’ll be worth it. He’ll soon transform into a new man, and which one of us wouldn’t fancy a Tom Cruise-a-like coming home after a long day up in the clouds?
Flying doesn’t just keep these Grumpy Old Men out of the house for an hour or two. Oh no, they have to get to the airfield early to set up, have a pre-flight briefing, a couple of cups of coffee and some cake, chat to their mates and ensure they have planned a route. Then, there is the actual flying, followed by a debrief, and the obligatory drink at the pub to recap the entire flight.
There are exams to be taken and much studying to be done. Many a night will be spent sitting at the dining table with pencils in their mouths, as they attempt to learn the principles of aviation law or meteorology. You’ll be able to relax on the settee and watch all those soaps without any dark muttering coming from the other end.
You may find that you will need to learn the phonetic alphabet though, just to show willingness and give him a hand. Let me assist you by starting with: Golf, Romeo, Uniform, Mike, Papa, Yankee.
If you can’t interest him in this particular hobby, then you could try him with a remote-controlled aircraft. This is the best of both worlds.
He can fly his aeroplane without taking examinations, wherever he fancies, and it won’t cost a fortune. There will be more about remote-controlled vehicles later.
Last but not least, you could offer him the chance to do some plane spotting. This is obviously the cheapest option, and can be enjoyed at the airport or in your back garden if you are fortunate enough to live under the flight path.
If he decides on the latter, you’ll be able to book that trip to Alicante. After all, he’ll see plenty of aeroplanes.
What do William Tell, Robin Hood, and Cupid have in common? The answer is archery or toxophily as it is also called. (You might need that piece of information for a pub quiz.)
Archery is one of the most ancient sports known to mankind. In ancient times and the medieval period, this activity was used for protecting people from enemies and for hunting wild animals. Today, it is regarded as a recreational activity or sport, and is looked upon as a way to improve concentration, mental strength, and precision … where was I?
Oh yes, sorry, I was thinking about Kevin Costner in the 1991 film Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and got distracted. Today, two forms of archery are prevalent: target archery and field archery.
Sign your fractious man up for lessons and watch him improve, along with his game. Word of warning: don’t let him place an apple on your head “for practice”.
Question: What did the lustful maiden say to the handsome archer?
Answer: You make me quiver.
BOOK DETAILS:

Genre: Non-Fiction, Humor
Published by: Safkhet Publising
Publication Date: 1st June 2013
Number of Pages: 106

PURCHASE LINKS:

              

THANKS TO AUTHOR, CAROL E. WYER,
I
HAVE ONE (1) EBOOK TO GIVE AWAY.
EBOOK–OPEN TO ALL
FILL OUT RAFFLECOPTER ENTRY FORM BELOW
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I received a copy of this book, at no charge to me, in exchange for my honest review. No items that I receive are ever sold…they are kept by me, or given to family and/or friends.
ADDENDUM
I do not have any affiliation with Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble. I am an IndieBound affiliate. I am providing link(s) solely for visitors that may be interested in purchasing this Book/EBook.

 

Review HOW NOT TO MURDER YOUR GRUMPY by Carol E. Wyer

How Not To Murder Your Grumpy by Carol E. Wyer
Published by Safkhet Publishing
Publication Date: June 1, 2013
ISBN-10 1908208163
ISBN-13 978-1908208163
Pages: 106
Review Copy from: Author and Providence Book Promotions
Edition: Kindle
My Rating: 4

Synopsis:
Is your Grumpy Old Man getting under your feet? Is he wrestling with retirement? Are you wondering if you should bundle him up and entrust him to basket-weaving classes? Then this book could be the answer to your prayers. This light hearted guide is packed full of lively ideas, anecdotes and quips. Not only does it set out to provide laughs, but offers over 700 ideas and ways to keep a Grumpy Old Man occupied. From collecting airline sick bags to zorbing, you will be sure to find an absorbing pastime for your beloved curmudgeon. There are examples of those who have faced extraordinary challenges in older age, fascinating facts to interest a reluctant partner and innovative ideas drizzled, of course, with a large dollop of humor. Written tongue-in-cheek, this book succeeds in proving that getting older doesn’t mean the end of life or having fun. It provides amusing answers to the question, “How on Earth will my husband fill in his time in his retirement?” It offers suggestions on what might, or most certainly might not, amuse him. Ideal for trivia buffs, those approaching retirement, (or just at a loose end) and frustrated women who have an irritable male on their hands, this book will lighten any mood and may even prevent the odd murder.

My Thoughts and Opinion:
I was first introduced to this author when I found her blog, Facing 50 with Humor. So when she contacted me to read and review her 1st book, exactly 2 years ago, Mini Skirts & Laughter Lines, I knew it would be enjoyable and funny, which it was.

Fast forward to a few months ago when I received an email asking if I would read and review her latest book, How Not To Murder Your Grumpy. When I read the synopsis, my first thought was, this is perfect! Over the past few months my husband (or as Carol has renamed the species, Old Grumpys) has been talking about when he plans to retire and I have to be honest, anxiety has set in thinking what will he do all day every day, my peaceful days will be no longer, will he be underfoot.

In How Not To Murder Your Grumpy, the author, has listed many activities, from A-Z, that one can be involved with to fill the days. Some are obvious, some I would never have thought of and some are down right hysterical. Each chapter, a different letter, has many suggestions to keep a Grumpy occupied. What I found funny were the author’s descriptions, dry humor editorial comments and riddles.

For example, on archery. A description of the sport is given and then…….

Archery is one of the most ancient sports known to mankind. In Ancient times and the medieval period, this activity was used for protecting people from enemies and for hunting wild animals. Today, it is regarded as a recreational activity or sport, and is looked upon as a way to improve concentration, mental strength, and precision…..where was I? Oh yes, sorry, I was thinking about Kevin Costner in the 1991 film Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and got distracted.
Question: What did the lustful maiden say to the handsome archer? Answer: You make me quiver.

And that is just one of many descriptions that I was laughing at. And I had 25 more letters to get through. And 700 distractions hobbies to occupy my Grumpy for when the time comes. Yes 700! She found 700 activities!

This book will definitely be put in an easy accessible location and, I’m sure, will get much use once my husband leaves his office for the last time. It just might have saved him from a justifiable murder.

I recommend this if you are looking for a light read, full of humor and laughter and/or looking for a new pastime. Full of levity, amusement and witticism. I am looking forward to reading her next book, Just Add Spice, as I am sure it will contain more of the same.

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4

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REVIEW DISCLAIMER
This blog was founded on the premise to write honest reviews, to the best of my ability, no matter who from, where from and/or how the book was obtained, and will continue to do so, even if it is through PICT or PBP.
DISCLAIMER
I received a copy of this book, at no charge to me, in exchange for my honest review.
No items that I receive are ever sold…they are kept by me, or given to family and/or friends.

ADDENDUM

I do not have any affiliation with Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble.  I am an IndieBound affiliate.  I am providing link(s) solely for visitors that may be interested in purchasing this Book/EBook.

Mailbox Monday

August is being hosted by Penelope @ The Reading Fever

Mailbox Monday was created by Marcia of A girl and her books and is now on tour.

According to Marcia, “Mailbox Monday is the gathering place for readers to share the books that came into their house last week. Warning: Mailbox Monday can lead to envy, toppling TBR piles and humongous wish lists.
Click on title for synopsis via IndieBound (I am an IndieBound affiliate)
Saturday:  Death Never Sleeps by E. J. Simon from Media Muscle/The Book Trib

And the winner is…….

…..of Wink by Eric Trant

CONGRATULATIONS!!


18 Rita H (My Home of Books) Be a Public Follower of ‘CMASH Loves to Read’

An email has been sent and the winner has 48 hours to respond or another winner will be chosen.  Thank you to all that entered.

Guest Author DR. JOSEPH WENKE showcase & giveaway ENDED

WELCOME DR. JOSEPH WENKE

DR. JOSEPH WENKE

JOE WENKE is an outspoken and articulate LGBTQ rights activist. He is the founder and publisher of Trans Über, a publishing company with a focus on LBGTQ rights, free thought and promoting equality for all people.  Wenke is the author of Mailer’s America and You Got to be Kidding! The Cultural Arsonist’s Satirical Reading of the Bible. His next book, Papal Bull: An Ex-Catholic Calls Out the Catholic Church, will be published this fall along with his first novel, The Talk Show.

Wenke began his career as an editor at the Foundation Center in New York City.  He was a speechwriter at Avnet for Tony Hamilton, the founder of the global electronics distribution industry, and wrote speeches for George Conrades, the head of IBM U.S. As a senior vice president at Caribiner International he served as the company’s lead communications strategist and head of global accounts.  He partners with Gisele Xtravaganza in Gisele New World, which produces events for the ballroom community. Wenke is the owner and managing partner of Xperience, a multi-million dollar marketing communications and production company with offices in New York, Boston and Detroit.

Wenke received a B.A. in English from the University of Notre Dame, an M.A. in English from Penn State and a Ph.D. in English from the University of Connecticut. He is a columnist and frequent contributor to the Huffington Post.
Connect with Dr. Wenke at these sites:

WEBSITE        TWITTER   

ABOUT THE BOOK

When it comes to the Bible, author, satirist and cultural arsonist Dr. Joe Wenke has a lot of questions. Why did God turn Lot’s wife into a pillar of salt? Were there no other seasonings available? How come no one noticed that Samson’s hair grew back and he was super strong again? Who lost Jesus’s baby book? The story of the Devil tempting Jesus—did the Devil or Jesus report it? And why does the Holy Spirit like to show up as a bird?

As irreverent as the musical The Book of Mormon, YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING! THE CULTURAL ARSONIST’S SATIRICAL READING OF THE BIBLE (TransÜber, LLC; November 2012)  is an engaging, provocative and often hilarious investigation into the bestselling book of all time. Written to “cause trouble” and provoke deeper thought during a time when religious fundamentalism is gaining strength around the world, Wenke, a marketing executive, former corporate speechwriter and keen observer of human gullibility, lures readers out of their mental closets and tempts them to more closely examine the stories they think they know about the Bible.

Drawing upon the same pool of incendiary and cerebral humor as Bill Maher, Jon Stewart and the late, great George Carlin, YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING! follows a trail of talking angels, fratricidal siblings, divinely sanctioned massacres and surprised lepers from the Old to the New Testament pointing out the impossible, the illogical and the unrealistic. Among the stories laid bare, are:

  • Noah’s Ark: How big was that boat—and who cleaned up after the animals?
  • Jonah and the Whale: Just how does one survive being digested for three days?
  • The Three Wise Men: If they were so wise, why did they get lost?
  • Jesus, Miracle Worker: Where did Jesus learn how to perform miracles—at Hogwarts?

YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING! is a call for humor to restore our sanity and our ability to think for ourselves. Just as it was written in the Bible—or was it?

BOOK DETAILS:

Genre: Non Fiction, Humor, Religion
Paperback: 206 pages
Publisher: Trans Uber LLC
Publication Date: October 1, 2012
ISBN-10: 0985900202
ISBN-13: 978-0985900205

PURCHASE LINKS:

              

THANKS TO VERONICA AT MEDIA MUSCLE/THE BOOK TRIB,
I
HAVE ONE (1) COPY TO GIVE AWAY.
OPEN TO U.S. and CANADA RESIDENTS
FILL OUT RAFFLECOPTER ENTRY FORM BELOW
GIVEAWAY ENDS AUGUST 30th AT 6PM EST

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WINNER WILL BE CHOSEN BY RAFFLECOPTER AND NOTIFIED
VIA EMAIL AND WILL HAVE 48 HOURS TO RESPOND
OR ANOTHER NAME WILL BE CHOSEN

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YOUR JAVA SCRIPT MAY NEED TO BE UPDATED
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USING THE RAFFLECOPTER ENTRY FORM

DISCLAIMER
I received a copy of this book, at no charge to me, in exchange for my honest review. No items that I receive are ever sold…they are kept by me, or given to family and/or friends.
ADDENDUM
I do not have any affiliation with Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble. I am an IndieBound affiliate. I am providing link(s) solely for visitors that may be interested in purchasing this Book/EBook.

 

And the winners are……..

….of Can’t Help Falling In Love by Bella Andre

CONGRATULATIONS!!


3 Maureen Carol Tweet about the Giveaway

7 Charlotte Be a Public Follower of ‘CMASH Loves to Read

An email has been sent to the winners and they have 48 hours to respond or another winner will be chosen.  Thank you to all that entered.

Guest Author GORDON BENNET BLEIL showcase & giveaway ENDED

WELCOME GORDON BENNET BLEIL

GORDON BENNET BLEIL

Gordon Bennett Bleil is a financial educator, former banker, bank consultant, entrepreneur, business executive and business owner. He has been a professor teaching in MBA programs and he holds an MBA in finance from the University of Southern California. Gordon hosted a radio show in finance entitled The Path to Financial Freedom and has authored courses in personal financial management. He is renowned for his ability to present complicated material so that it becomes simple and understandable.
Connect with Gordon on FaceBook:

GUEST POST

Budgeting 101

The mere mention of the word “budget” causes stress and anxiety in some people analogous to telling them that they would have to go to the dentist.  For some reason any mention of managing your money seems to be intimidating.  Maybe it’s because so many books approach budgeting as a rigorous and intimidating process.

But it doesn’t need to be that way at all. A budget is simply a spending plan to let you stay in control of your finances. If it is done correctly it can be an invaluable aid to help you meet your goals. A budget should be useful and flexible so that you will continue to see is a benefit rather than an impediment.

There are essentially six steps to preparing a good budget. Let’s explore them.

Step 1— Decide why you want a budget.
If you do not know why you need a budget it is useless to try to make one.  Many people make their first budget when they find out they are spending more than they are making and need to fix it.  Others want to save more for retirement. Whatever it is you simply need a goal before you start budgeting.

Step 2 — Gather data
You need to know what you are spending now and for what you were using your money.  This is often the toughest part of the budgeting process.  If you asked most people to reconstruct from memory what they spent the last month they would unlikely get closer than about 80%.

The importance of this cannot be over emphasized. One of the reasons for a budget is to identify money that is being wasted or spent unnecessarily. Money is very liquid so we may draw a parallel to water in a bucket.  If the bucket has a hole all of the contents will certainly leak out. We want to keep that from happening.

So for one month count  every penny you spend. Then at the end of the month add pro rata amounts for any expenditures which do not occur evenly each month.  Be especially careful with charge cards that you do not add the amount of the primary transaction and the amount on the credit card. If you do you will be double counting.

When this is done you should have a pretty accurate idea of where your money is going. You may have some surprises. At one money management seminar a lady who did this discovered she was spending $1700 a year in the company vending machines. Now there is nothing immoral in this but maybe it is not the best way to spend your money. Maybe she wanted to make some changes.

Step 3 — Organize the data
Raw data is not very useful.  So we have to organize it into categories. There are mandatory expenses, discretionary expenses, hybrid expenses, and escrowed ones.

Mandatory expenses are those which have to be paid before anything else can be paid. The mortgage payment is an example.

Discretionary expenses are those which can be suspended for an indefinite or short period of time. An example would be going to the movies.

Hybrid expenses are those which have characteristics of each of the previous two.  An example is the grocery bill. Some of the grocery bill is mandatory and some of it is discretionary.

Escrow expenses are monies which you set aside for bills that do not occur evenly throughout the year. An example would be your property taxes.

Now record the data into these categories. It is a good idea to record this information on columned paper with three columns so that you can make changes.

Step 4 — Analyze the data and propose changes
Now it is time to look at the data in some detail. For each item determine what you spent and what you would like to spend and put the amount in parallel columns. Then determine whether the amount has to go up or down.  Maybe you want to put more money into retirement and less money into eating out.

Obviously the amount of money going out has to equal the amount of money coming in.  If part of the money coming in is increased indebtedness you may want to consider correcting that.  Someday increased debt has to be paid back and that will increase still another category.

Step 5 — Calculate all of the changes you want to make
For all of the expense items simply determine any changes that you have to make.

Step 6 — Put your spending plan (budget) to work for you
How you do this is completely up to you. A few tips may help you out. Money for different purposes should be handled differently. Wherever possible mandatory expenses should be set up as an automatic debit to a checking account. Money for different purposes should also be physically separated. It can be in different bank accounts, or it could be an envelope system.

The envelope system works very well. You simply put the allocated amount of money for each category in a separate envelope. When the money is gone you stop spending. This way it keeps you from overspending for something you had not planned to do. Escrow money should not be mixed with the grocery or entertainment funds.

There are many sites on the Internet which can give you additional specifics on budgeting and systems to do so. All of the forms necessary for a budget can be downloaded free from the author’s website www.ptff.net.  Another thing that may be of interest to you is the Financial Freedom Risk Assessment quiz that can also be found on that web site.

ABOUT THE BOOK
Give Yourself a Raise is a complete how-to guide for finding more money to reduce the stress in your life and lead you to­ financial freedom. Suitable for beginners and professionals alike, it will lead you to more contentment about money!
Unique to this book are:
·      Financial Freedom Risk Assessment Quiz—take it and evaluate your own risk!
·      Goals made easy—the complete foundation for personal money management
·      Freedom Money Management System™—harness the power of electronic banking to organize your personal finances
You will also learn how to:
·      Control impulse spending
·      Eliminate family conflict
·      Get out of debt and stay out
·      Practice spending strategies to stretch your income
·      Stop wasting money
BOOK DETAILS:

Categories: Personal Finance-Budgeting, Personal Finance-Money Management
Paperback: 250 pages
Publisher: Elate Press
Publication Date: July 23, 2013
ISBN-10: 0988149184
ISBN-13: 978-0988149182

PURCHASE LINKS:

              

THANKS TO REBECCA AT THE CADENCE GROUP,
I
HAVE ONE (1) COPY TO GIVE AWAY.
OPEN TO U.S. RESIDENTS
FILL OUT RAFFLECOPTER ENTRY FORM BELOW
GIVEAWAY ENDS AUGUST 29th AT 6PM EST

TCG 300

WINNER WILL BE CHOSEN BY RAFFLECOPTER AND NOTIFIED
VIA EMAIL AND WILL HAVE 48 HOURS TO RESPOND
OR ANOTHER NAME WILL BE CHOSEN

a Rafflecopter giveaway

YOUR JAVA SCRIPT MAY NEED TO BE UPDATED
IF YOU AR EXPERIENCING DIFFICULTY
USING THE RAFFLECOPTER ENTRY FORM

DISCLAIMER
I received a copy of this book, at no charge to me, in exchange for my honest review. No items that I receive are ever sold…they are kept by me, or given to family and/or friends.
ADDENDUM
I do not have any affiliation with Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble. I am an IndieBound affiliate. I am providing link(s) solely for visitors that may be interested in purchasing this Book/EBook.